From ten years ago

Samuel Beckett's New York City Cabdriver

he looked like someone from a black and white horror movie
but i needed the fare and stopped at that east village corner
he wore a black overcoat and had wild white hair
he did not say much
just the address he wanted to go
i tried to talk to him
about the yankees
the hot dog and yoo-hoo i had for lunch
that it was january and it's only snowed once
he may have grunted, or swore at me under his breath to shut up
but in my mirror i noticed all he did
was stare out the window
don't get me wrong
i can talk your ear off about the assholes
who sat back there
this guy was far from the worst
you say he was a writer?
did he write for the papers?
did he make a lot of money?
because he wasn't a horrible tipper

The spying internet

I mention on Facebook that I may be going to Paris and this showed up in my spam folder.

Hi - Chaptal ,

My name is Veronica, I'm from Paris. Last week i Bought an old book from street here in Paris and i found your email inside of it, i'm curious to know if this is a real person, and what relate you with this book! Looking forward to hearing from you! Thanks
Please reply to this email today To Either

Taping over your camera isn't going to do shit.

To those who give unsolicited advice on the internet

I am going to place A and will stay in place B with a view of place C
I am not going to take into account that I stay in place D with no view
Or that I go into the countryside, outside of the city limits of A to see a sheep farm
I can go to the Ohio State Sheep Center, anytime I want
And I do not want

A vineyard, sure. That’s the only farm I want to see
If I wanted to see riots from the fifth floor, I would find a room with a view of E
But I do not want to see riots, smell tear gas or witness Gendarmes beating people up
I will take into account bakeries, as food is in my wife’s wheelhouse and I will need food
to soak up all the drinking I plan on doing
Do I want to stand in a crowded room of people in the Louvre, cell phones out, taking pictures of the Mona Lisa?
Not really, but I would not mind skipping through the room Anna Karina did in Bande a Part
Catacombs, ancient skulls at night, Pere LaChaise even without Jim Morrison’s grave are right in if you knew me,
giver of unsolicited advice

I’m going to eat chocolate, croissants, baguettes, drink wine, drink coffee, be claustrophobic in crowds of tourist attractions that are being loved to death, people watch, speak awful French, be insulted and scorned by the residents
and make love to my wife
In a hotel
That has a view
Of the Eiffel Tower
And none of your projections are going to stop me

Ten more things I'm already tired of in 2018

Other people’s diets
Other people’s pets
Naming winter storms
Sanctimony
Twitter threads
Star Wars revision and criticism
Curated anything
Forced positivity
People who tell you to let it go
Historical negationism

Ten more words I'm already tired of in 2018

Mixed use
Adulting
Fur parent
Snowflake
Supermoon
Soul
Plan
Sour
Vegan
Spirit

Ten words I'm already tired of in 2018

Magic
Onboarding
Unpacking
Fake news
Deep state
Bitcoin
Blockchain
Vlogger
Rob Portman
Conversation