Things that are here, things that are on the way

My friend Susan an an article on siblings and autism in today's New York Times Magazine. You can read it here.

She also has a book coming out in March.

Another friend, Sujatha Hampton, has her first book coming out on Tuesday.

I'm surrounded by writers doing big things. Using their talents to change lives, including their own.

Nothing beats going up in front of a billion people though.



I have a chapbook. The pages were stapled together, by me.

One step at a time.

Bob Costas Said 'Slam Poet'

I do not know Shane Koyczan, but he just went on a podium in the middle of the opening ceremonies for the Olympics, in front of an audience of hundreds of millions and did this poem.



And he nailed it!

Admitting What I've Already Admitted

About three years ago Scott Woods wrote a poem. The circumstances behind the poem are not important. The title; "They Hate Your Poem." It's a very energetic poem, one that gets a strong reaction when he reads it. It's a riot. A certain twelve letter word involving an act with a mother is used frequently.

I love that poem. At the time I was going though some rather intense personal, life and internet drama - some things that happen when a marriage falls apart. There were sock puppets, fake people invented, threats with no teeth and all kinds of weird stuff was swirling all over the place. The term 'They Hate Your Blog' fell into my brain.

I never denied where this poem came from, it's a homage, tribute, deliberate theft. Scott wrote it first though, and better. I last did it at Arts Fest last year. It's fun to bring out once in a awhile. This is the sanitized version. You can guess the word.


They Hate Your Blog

Those two jerkwads hate your blog
They go all over town with their precious laptops
And on wireless connections in coffeehouses and music halls
They'll sit and talk to each other about how much they hate your blog

They'll start private blogs
That they only know about and post, only to each other
Just how much they hate your blog

They'll lock a journal post or screen comments
Because they want to hide from the world
Just how much they hate your blog

Those two jerkwads will comment anonymously on your blog
Or make up a sock puppet and comment to you in your blog
or one of your friend's blogs
Just how much they hate your blog

They'll talk to each other,
late at night on the telephone
While sitting at their computers
Texting on their Blackberrys
Talking about how much they hate your blog
While writing about how much they hate your blog

They'll make a post about how much
They hate your blog
Then delete it once they know you have read it
Because those two jerkwads have too much time on their hands
And those two jerkwads hate your blog

They'll list, as a user interest
"Hating your blog"
But they will not name you
Even though they know you know how much
They hate your blog

They'll even make up a screen name called
"I hate your blog"
Or start a Facebook group about how much they hate your blog
Just because they hate your blog

They hate your blog so much they've been making up captions
of those dumb ass LOLCATS
"I am watching U, H8ING YUR BLOGZ"

They'll even make up a screen name called
"I hate your blog"
Or start a meme about how much they hate your blog
Just because they hate your blog

Those two jerkwads don't just hate your blog
But your friends blogs
Your family's blogs
Your coworkers blogs
If your goldfish had a blog
They'd hate that too
Why?
Because those two jerkwads hate your blog

They even wrote a haiku
About how much they hate your blog

We are two jerkwads
We really, really, really
Hate your blog, a lot

Those two jerkwads can't even write a decent haiku
Because they're too busy hating your blog

Here's a blog post about the music you like
Hated it

Here's a blog post about your kid
Hated it

Here's a blog post about your job
Hated it

Here's a blog post about the Buckeyes
Hated it

Here's MY blog post about those two jerkwads
Who hate your blog



Never quite figured out how to end it, but the silence and walking off the stage is better than the word "Fail" which is becoming as overused as "My bad."

Well, What Are You Really Going to Do About It?

Pulled off another amazing stunt and refinanced the house all by my lonesome. No one can honestly approach or stop me!

Lowered the interest rate and the payment! It took a few long months, but it is done now.



I'm Philippe Petit baby.

With completed taxes.

No More Talking Babies!

A surprisingly good Super Bowl last night. The Saints showing us that turnovers are important. The win is not going to rebuild the city, but if it makes people happy for awhile so be it.

The commercials were blah. A lot of animals were used. What's with the implied interspecies love going on? The monster.com groundhog was getting in on with a high tech fashion babe in a hot tub in the back of a limo. Creepy.

The Tebow ad was understated. Why did NOW complain about that and not the go daddy ad?

The moment Roger Daltrey opened his mouth and a rasp came out I knew the halftime show was in trouble. Can the NFL find a band where the lead singer is not 66 years old for next year's show? Please, enough British dinosaur acts, find an American one. Why not Van Halen? Give Beyonce a shot. I would not be surprised if it were Green Day.

Snowpocolypse Now

Here on the west side, at least where I live, there was about six inches of snow. Other outlets are saying 9.5 inches.

The ex survived her surgery.

Blue Jackets coach Ken Hitchcock was fired on Wednesday. Claude Noel is the interim coach. We had planned on attending Thursday's game against Dallas. I was curious to see how the team and the crowd would act the first game of a new era. The team was pretty tentative, but not unconfident as they tried to impress the new dad.

The Dallas goaltender was Marty Turco.

I've seen a lot of hockey games and players over the years on a college and professional level. One of the few players I hate is Marty Turco.

Back when he played for Michigan, the team would always and I mean always kick Ohio State's ass. They owned them. Everyone knew it. What bugged me is that Michigan always took their dominance as a reason to be arrogant jerks. Like calling the old OSU ice rink a venue unfit for college hockey. At the Fairgrounds Coliseum, there was only one entrance to the rink and Michigan would go out of their way to enter the rink through a different door than Ohio State, as if the door had cooties. Fans who would approach the booth where the music was played during stops in the action, demanding that the Michigan fight song be played.

So many other reasons.

And Turco was in the middle was all this.

There was the end of Michigan dominance, when OSU finally beat them. When Turco left the net during the 1998 CCHA regionals and Todd Compeau fought him for the puck, took it from Turco and fired it into the Michigan net. A beautiful thing.

You have no friends Marty Turco.



So it was great to see Turco lose, this time to the Blue Jackets.



Steve Mason looked good in net. Poor guy has had a horrible sophomore season. Maybe this is the game that will put him back on the good path. But I've said that this year, too many times.

Blue Jackets play the Sabres tonight.

Memo Tuesday

Dear 670,

Thank you for having that bump on you that I did not see in the dark on Sunday night. Your shoddy skin bent the rim on my tire, and also shredded it.

No Love,

Me

Dear Bank,

Remember what I asked you three months ago that you did not answer? You’d better have a response for me soon. One that is closer to a number I gave you.

Awaiting Your Response,

Me

Dear Surgeons,

Remember what happened to Andy Warhol? Don’t do that on Friday, ‘k?

I Applaud Your Skill in Advance,

Me

Dear Son,

Poop in the toilet, please,

Love,

Dad