Another good one taken

Bill Hurley was connected to life. A very intelligent man of many talents. He came to Writers Block a few years ago and he earned and deserved our love and respect. A fine poet, a fine Father and Husband. We're going to miss him.

Meanwhile, I keep pulling myself away from the poetry and arts scene slowly. Feeling like I have nothing left to offer because I'm not as directly affected by the topics of the day than others. Don't know if it's age, social or financial status but it's become hard to connect and much much easier to stay at home. If it's not my Son's sleep schedule, my own schedule is wearing me out.

My Son will be 14 on Thursday. He seems to be adjusting ok to the new school and schedule. A much better adjustment than this summer's caregiver. There are still so many challenges and I feel like I'm running out of time somehow. It's hard to connect with him too frequently and that frustrates me as the circle of self blame is all around me.

Solo trip next week. At least the car has roadside assistance.

He was cool before Snape

Another British legend has died this week, also at the age of 69.

Alan Rickman made every film he was in, even the crappy ones, stand out more. A few years after Die Hard, he starred with Juliet Stevenson in Truly, Madly, Deeply, which is a weepfest of a film that is better than Ghost. I'm pretty sure this is how I first remember him, and his remarkable acting talent.



He left us with so many good roles, and we have those to go back to.

Cancer sucks.

To write it all down, or none of it.

My Brother died on Tuesday of complications following a bone marrow transplant. He kept his illness private, but if there were any questions he would always answer them.

Last month, he left me a message to call him. I suspected something was up, as this was a very rare thing for him to do. In my family, random phone calls mean the news is rarely good. We were not very close, due to physical and emotional distance. Despite his being a yankee fan, a lot of mutual respect between us developed over time. He was always wondering how my son was and did his best to keep on his life.

He told me he was going into the hospital, again. The way he said it was a bit of a surprise. He had been in and out of the hospital more than once in the last couple of years, but this was the first time he let me know. There was something in the tone of his voice that led me to think this was more serious than usual tests and defense against infections.

During her visit, my sister confirmed this. His body weakened over the last few weeks and his organs told him the fight was over. He had a strong spirit, was a good man, and his loss will be felt by so many in and outside of his family.



Rest in Peace, Scott.

Being social is hard, but rewarding.

It's a rare weekend when we're invited out for not just one, but two, social events and have the time and ability to do it.

There was an energy in the microbrewery on Friday, where we waited for a person to show up to celebrate his birthday, and to meet him in person for the first time. We had a good conversation with another friend who was waiting as well, and met the celebrant's brother and a few other people.

Over the course of the evening we also met a local dining establishment owner and a local food blogger. I was in a good mood so I did not ask the blogger if he ever had a bad meal out, ever, and if did, did he ever write about it? But that's my issue with local food critics who hyper-focus on nothing but positives and never offer any constructive critique.

So that was growth on my part, I think.

There was also a fun dinner party in which Cards of Humanity was played. My wife and I were cleaning up on the black cards but this exchange was one I happened to read.

"Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's ___________________

White privilege."

That was the first card I read, and I nearly ended it right then and there. How can that be topped?

It was good, but tiring to get out.

Plus, the Mets were playing on the west coast in the playoffs. The games ended very late, Here's my poem about last night's game.

"An open letter to Chase Utley of the Los Angeles Dodgers; after he broke the leg of New York Mets shortstop Ruben Tejada during an illegal slide into second base in the seventh inning of a game that was played on October 11th, 2015.

Fuck you."

And that's all that needs to be said, until Monday night.

The death of Carey Lander, the keyboardist for Camera Obscura, leaves me very very sad. Lander died of sarcoma this morning at the age of 33. Sucks when such a vital, creative person is taken from us too soon. She will be greatly missed. Condolences to her family, the band, and her friends.

Cleaned out organ, clean bill of health

The worst part of getting a colonoscopy is the preparation. The items you have to ingest to clear the system, and in a competitive eating time frame, is rather vile. Plus having to ingest the last half of said items six hours before the procedure, which in my case was at three in the morning - is a rather taxing process. You can't eat anything solid either, and chicken bouillon cubes suck.

This, combined with my son waking up at two in the morning and not going back to sleep, made it all a very cranky time. The liquid melotonin works as erratically as my son's sleep patterns.

The people and staff at the OSU Medical Center were all very cool. From the volunteer who walked us to where we needed to be to the doctor who did the procedure, all professional.

I remember nothing about the procedure. I was on some seriously good drugs, if it was propofol, damn, I get why someone could get addicted to that. In the room I saw the screen, the wire they used wrapped up in sealed bags on the wall. Last thing I remember was them asking to take my glasses off and I said to not lose them. One of the nurses talked about my frames being cool, I told her to not look through them. She said she did not need glasses anymore. I asked if she had lasik surgery and that was it.

Not sure when I woke up in recovery, but my lovely wife was there. I was a bit woozy but do not think I said or did anything overly odd. I did ask several times if everything was alright. The doctor came in, said everything was ok and told me to come back in ten years. The nurse asked if I wanted to go and I said to give me about ten minutes, this is rare for me. I usually want out of a hospital room as soon as possible. She came back, and then I was ready to head out.

By this time I was quite hungry and bought a Hershey bar at the gift shop. Our ride came and we stopped at Rally's on the way home. Yes. Rally's. Did I say how hungry I was?

Got home and napped the rest of the afternoon, then found out about Robin Williams and here we are.

Sucky next 38 hours

After too many nights of interrupted sleep caused by my son not sleeping through the night we've decided to try something new. When he was much younger and had the same problem we tried melotonin and it had a reverse effect. This was at least eight or nine years ago. Tonight we slipped some liquid melotonin in with his pudding. Not sure what the results will be but he was not interested in drinking the milk we put it in last night - where he went to bed around 10PM and woke up about six, which for him is a good night.

So he's lying on the couch right now, which is normal for him. When he falls asleep and whether or not he sleeps through the night is now the question.

This was also one of those days I'm not sure if he understands what is happening. I drove him up to his new school and explained to him that he is going to be going here soon, that it is his new school and that it's going to be like his old one but different too. His response was to put his hands over his ears, which is a newer thing of his to do. We have a soon to be twelve year old surly teenager.

Not sure if my blood pressure is dropping the way my doctor would like. I'm on two medications for it now. Monday I'm undergoing a medical procedure which means I can't eat any solid food tomorrow and have to purge the system, as it were.

When my two older brothers hit fifty and develop cancer means I have to be vigilant, hence the procedure. Who knows when my genetic switch will activate?

In the time I took to write this, his eyes are closing, and he's out. Not sure if it's the melotonin or not.

Now if the idiots in my neighborhood would stop shooting off fireworks it can be even quieter around here.

One week from vacation

You share things with your children, and they, in turn, share things with you. Took Wednesday off and kept my sick son out of school. He was quite listless, low energy and had a fast running nose. As they day went along, and after a rare late morning nap, he felt better and went to school on Thursday.

That day, I started to falter at work and woke up this morning feeling like a truck landed on my head. So it was my turn to call off work for the second time this week, take a late morning nap and try to recover as the day went on. Not sure it worked enough. The weekend is here though.

Received news today that a body part of mine is not a potential match for a possible transplant. Not sure how to feel about that. No stress or anxiety about the procedure, but totally unable to help, just have to watch from the sidelines and hope for the best now.

Thank you Mr. Wilson

The death of Buffalo Bills owner Ralph Wilson was hardly a surprise. He was 95 years old. He did a lot for the city of Buffalo, and the city did a lot for him during his sole ownership of the franchise. He made a lot of mistakes, and was responsible for many of the successes. He was highly respected though, always. My favorite memory of Mr. Wilson was before a playoff game against Miami twenty years ago. Wilson and running back Thurman Thomas exchanged high fives and shouted, "Are you ready?" to each other in the end zone before the game, which the Bills won.



Wilson's death was a blow on a massive bruise that the franchise is taking this week. Hall of Fame quarterback Jim Kelly is fighting for his life in a New York City hospital and will undergo surgery for a recurrence of cancer. What Kelly did for the franchise, the city of Buffalo, is quite a profound story. What happened to Kelly after he left the game is important as well. His son was diagnosed and ultimately died of a fatal condition. He started doing massive charity work and fund raising for research about Krabbe's Disease. He was in a horrible plane accident in Alaska. He endured the pain and surgeries of injuries from his career after he retired. Then, last year, the cancer.

Kelly's in a tough fight. Cancer sucks, it effects everyone.

Tripping in the Steel City

Life goes on. After finding out my friend Mike died on Thursday night, with a heavier heart we headed to Pittsburgh for a planned well in advance weekend.

It's a very easy drive from Columbus. A trip that is a bit quicker now that the speed limit on Ohio highways is up to 70 miles per hour. If I had not missed an exit in the strands of spaghetti roads that is downtown Pittsburgh, we would have made the hotel in about two and half hours.

The hotel was in an odd area, just north of downtown, with high rise public housing across the street. There were no problems though, other than one guy asking for change on the corner, like that's never happened in Columbus.

The room was small, but cozy. The shower was quite small, but there was plenty of hot water. The room itself was rather noisy as we found out at 1:30AM when the room upstairs from us was having sexy time. The iron framed bed was rather old and loose in construction and did a lot of bouncing and banging. I hope there were two people up there.

The level of service at this hotel was excellent. There was a free shuttle that would take you anywhere within the city. One of the drivers was quite knowledgeable and friendly as he took us to a restaurant before the baseball game.

There were a number of recommendations for Meat and Potatoes on the Columbus Underground messageboard, so I made reservations a couple of weeks in advance. There was a crowd of people waiting for the five o'clock opening. Our names were called right after opening and we were taken to our seats as the bar instantly filled up.

Extensive cocktail menu, the drinks were excellent. My wife had a slow gin fizz with authentic Plymouth Sloe Gin. The cheery with her drink she said was the best ever. It was an amaro cherry from Italy, we were told.

My mussels came, it was an entire dish filled with them. Not many tiny ones either, all rather substantial. The only minus was the fries, I thought they would be cut thicker but while there were plenty, they were rather tiny.

I had a few bites of my wife's pannacotta dessert, which was light and tasty. I ordered an Oban off their whiskey list. It was pricey, but what the heck. It came in a Glencairn glass which is always a touch of class. What shocked me was the amount of whiskey in the glass. I know what an ounce and a half in a Glencairn glass looks like, this was about double that. That impressed me, and I was not driving!

The stadium was a short walk from the restaurant. Very impressed the city closes off the Roberto Clemente Bridge to cars and lets pedestrians have the whole thing.



The experience outside the stadium is impressive. Fans tailgate, they play whiffle ball in the parking lots along with cooking out and drinking. I respect Pirate Fan.



In addition to the Clemente statue, there is one of Honus Wagner, Bill Mazeroski and Willie Stargell. Two tipsy Pirate fans offered to take a picture of my wife and I with it, but seemed to be so drunk they could not press the button on a digital camera. It was the thought that counted.

A friend of ours gave us his tickets. His seats are incredible.



PNC Park is stunning even without the amazing views of the Pittsburgh skyline. There does not seem to be a bad seat in the house.

We saw Jeremy Hefner pitch for the Mets. He made one bad pitch to Alcarez and the visitors were down 2-0. They fought back to tie it up and send the game into extra innings. We left after the tenth and got back in time to see the Pirates win in the bottom of the eleventh watching in the hotel bar. That's how close things are in Pittsburgh.

The hotel breakfast was ok, not great, but the courtyard is pretty. We asked the driver to take us to the Fred Rogers statue.



Mister Rogers Neighborhood was filmed in Pittsburgh.

The riverfront is quite scenic.



We walked back to the hotel to rest for a bit before meeting a friend of mine at a coffee shop and then hit a deli next door. Down the street is a theater that may or may not be renovated. It was once a porno house.



After saying goodbye we rested up, had some dinner at a mediocre pub then headed to Stage AE for the Belle and Sebastian show. We met an old live journal friend of ours who was also going to the show. Before he showed up, my wife and I rated the attendees on the amount of tweeness in their clothing. The winner was a girl in front of us, who had birds all over her dress.

The venue is very similar to the LC in Columbus, it may be a bit steeper. Yo La Tengo opened and did not impress me much. They even had spinal tap guitar moments as Kaplan flung his guitar around, causing the annoying feedback. He then put his guitar down while it was still sustaining and picked up another guitar to make his noise.

Belle and Sebastian were impressive. It was fun to see my wife finally see a whole show from a band she loves.



Their back catalogue is large and they were digging out some nuggets from the first record. Stuart Murdoch made reference to the baseball game happening next door by playing Take Me Out To the Ballgame.



Fireworks were happening after the baseball game while the band was playing.



The band did not hear it as they were playing, but could smell the gunpowder. After the fireworks were over, the band's string section did a few snippets from the 1812 Overture, which was quite sweet.

It was worth the trip. A weekend we needed as we prepare for the rest of the summer. I've started 42 days in which I will be in the hospital with my son as he is in intensive in-patient feeding therapy or at work.

But Pittsburgh though, I'm not sure if it's a grass is greener thing, but I like the vibe of the place and can't wait to go back.

All the people I know are beginning to fade away

This morning I received word through a Facebook update that a college friend is dying of cancer. I wish his family and friends peace during this difficult time. Mike and I connected again through Facebook. We shared jokes, stories, movies, music and politics. I now seriously regret not being able to speak to him more during the reunion in Fredonia in 2010. It was a crazy, busy night and you talked briefly to everyone or no one. A few days later, in a Facebook message, I did make mention of that and he agreed. A few months ago I heard he was ill. He slowed up his posting to Facebook. I figured he had more important things to do. Did not realize the severity of his condition until hours ago.

You always think there’s going to be another time. There may not be. Everything can be lost in a moment. Have to be a bit thankful for social media though, none of the connections would have happened without it.

This is the second friend of around my age to be claimed by cancer this year. It’s hard to come to terms with aging. It sucks and it’s getting me down.

Assuming room temperature

A friend of mine died on Monday. A brilliant, witty (the subject line is one he would use often) and opinionated man was taken from us and his amazing wife way too soon. Just a couple of years older than me, he beat me at chess while staring at an empty board on the other side of the room while I had the board with the pieces in front of me. Cancer sucks. I first met him through a friend of my wife and I, who told us she was marrying this man she met at her brother's wedding a few months earlier. She thought nothing would come of it. They had twenty three years together. Not enough if you ask me. Not enough if you ask anyone who knew them.

At first they lived on a rural road in a holler on New York State's southern tier. Outside the house was his Jensen Healy, no longer running. And it sat there for years, home to chipmunks and leaves for several years.

He did finally get it restored. I rode in it. There were no seat belts. There were always risks Jeff was willing to take. He should have had many years of life left.



He is missed so much by many already. Rest in Peace, Jeff.

Little catastrophies

This week has brought so much bad news from people around me. Friends, family, acquaintances have had the worst possible things happen to them. Yes. The worst. All I can add to this is that cancer sucks.

That was just to Wednesday.

I'm not sure why I checked his Facebook page today, maybe it was something hockey related, but when I did I found out through the words of others on his wall that he had taken his own life.

I knew him online for about fourteen years. We met in thatplace, the depression newsgroup that I invested a bit of my life in during the late nineties. When Live Journal was popular we were friends over there, and Facebook as well.

He would pop in with random comments about the quality of liquor I was drinking, or give me air transport tips as that was a hobby of his. He'd send me encouraging emails or show some concern about my or my son's well being. The last email I received from him was in October, sending me a link to a site about how to keep an iPad clean.

Here's all he said, "I don't know if this will bring any utility to you, but I thought that I'd send it off just to be safe."

He had many problems and issues, both mental and physical. Now I'm thinking I did not reach out to him enough. He last commented on my Facebook in mid-November. He always showed that he cared. Even when he was ranting about Stephen Harper or Gary Bettman, he was always kind. Always Canadian.

Rest in Peace, Darren. Even though you caused some pain with that horrible act, I hope you are rid of the pain you were in.

I'm having a Glenkinchie, right now, in your memory. Slainte.

Love and Light

Levon Helm's family is reporting he's nearing the end of his journey.