Hunters and gatherers did not have to deal with corporate shelving resets

Finding food that my son will eat is always a challenge. So when we find something he does eat, and prefers to other foods it's a good thing and we try to use the foods he prefers to get him to try something new.

It can get frustrating to shop in one place when one grocery store stops carrying the food that he does eat over other products in the line. Even worse is when the manufacturer stops making that product.

This is what I fear has happened to Yoplait's Thick and Creamy line. He will always choose the vanilla over any other brand so we always try to keep that in the house. It's not at Kroger any more and when we went to Giant Eagle today, the whole line was gone. He will eat the regular vanilla, thank God, so that is something.

Giant Eagle has also stopped carrying the Hormel Compleates Macaroni and Cheese dinner, which he eats with gusto. They've also stopped carrying turkey, another one in the line he eats rather heartily. Those items are readily available at Kroger.

I did speak with the grocery manager about this. I understand he can't control what the makers of the products do, but the products that are made should be carried if they sell. He took my number and we'll see what he has to say. I'd rather get our groceries in one place, and if I have to give up fuel perks so I can get all the food my son eats in one place so be it.

A dropped syllable reveals so much

My son is somewhere between 57-58 pounds now. I weigh him on the scales at the pool every couple of weeks. He is slowing gaining weight, definitely not losing. He eats fine for me, we introduced creamed corn into his diet and he has not put up any real fuss. Yes, that creamed corn is also blended, hard to wrap your head around but that's part of the challenge.

Tonight we were doing some drawing and I wrote out his first and last name and asked him to repeat it, which he did. I think that was the first time I heard him say his last name, which is all odd and unsettling to me. It defines a lot of the difficulty and what we have to face. And why didn't I do this years ago? I cannot imagine how difficult it is for him to process everything.

After that I wrote out Columbus, Ohio. I've heard him repeat Ohio before, which he pronounces as "Hi-O."

The school lottery form is being filled out and sent by his mother. She's the residential parent so it's her responsibility. We hope he gets into the place we toured, many of his classmates end up going there so we hope for that familiarity for him. So many changes ahead, including physical, which we are nowhere near prepared for.

Finally, rest

This is the first morning in quite some time that I have been able to sleep in past nine o'clock.

Been quite the busy time since my return from Fayetteville. In addition to work there was an Arts Fest meeting, open mic, movie night and other assorted doctor's appointments for my son.

The new one (fourth this year) has recommended in-patient therapy, possibly in Indiana. Six years ago he was approved for in-patient therapy, but at the last minute the insurance company reneged in the claim, saying that food was not considered medically necessary.

It's taken six years to get back to this point, where would he be if the claim had originally been approved?

If he needed lap band surgery or had a substance abuse problem, zoom, right in and covered, but this eating disorder thing, I guess that's hard to justify to a bean counter.

As for FMLA and Indiana, we'll see what this place's track record is first before investing 4-6 weeks of time and lost income.

In other news we bought a new TV on Friday night. After all the research and people who said we MUST have a 42" (or larger!) we got a 32" and that is quite sufficient for what we need and the size of the living room.. Had to call the cable company for them to set up the cable box, but that was the only problem. It looks fine, watched the baseball game Friday night and was impressed. I can see the numbers on the screen and The Who at the London Coliseum looked great.



Also read Pete Townshend's new book in which he is sexually confused, drinks, is sexually confused, writes great songs, has sex with groupies, drinks, has sex with his wife, is sexually confused, drinks, does cocaine, has sex with groupies, drinks, stops doing drugs, drinks, has sex with groupies...

Yeah, could have been better, you bet.

Holiday angst

Still unmotivated. Pointing the finger at no one but myself. It's humid out there, but that's only an excuse. Did a bit of Arts Fest administrative work. Some initial contact will be make in the next few weeks. The process has to get going, and soon.

My mother got my son a car track for his birthday. It's all good, eventually it became that way. Once I figured out how to snap the track together it was a struggle. Figuring out how to put the batteries in the cars was a pain in the ass that led to some behavior I was not proud of. The boy has been paying attention to it though, which is great.

Tomorrow he has an appointment with a new occupational therapist.

Given little thought to IWPS. Did book my room, will make plane reservations this weekend. Wondering how the heck I'm going to get from the airport, which it 40 miles out of town, into town. I hear scuttlebutt of shuttles. Hope the organizers have them in place.



Suppose I should get to work figuring out what I'm going to be reading. At least four poems, one to four minutes in length. Do I read one poem I did in 2009 in Berkeley? How deep are my pockets?

Doing all we can

A couple of months back I received a letter from my son's former occupational therapist. It more or less stated that he was still on the list for treatment, but his referral would expire in late September unless we scheduled appointments.

This morning I called to schedule an appointment. I was told he'd be put back on a waiting list, that I'd receive a call when his next session would be and that his referral was now up to date.

Did not expect to hear back from them for a few weeks. Was quite surprised to get a call back less than a half hour later with a date, next Tuesday. His new therapist, I specifically requested he not receive his last one, can take him every other week.

So what we're going to do is have O.T. one week, and Behavioral Therapy the next week. I'm really at a loss right now. He's definitely made progress, but is still quite underweight. Summer camp did not help as there did not seem to be anyone on staff capable of feeding him. His mother received a substantial amount of food that he did not eat, or that the staff did not make an effort in feeding him so they kept the food all summer without telling us. This part of the story is not over.

His behavior therapist has stated on more than one occasion that we're not doing enough, that there is no local situation that can provide him with intensive day or in-patient therapy. In the near future, that may change as she told me there is a new doctor on the hospital staff who may be capable of starting an in-patient feeding clinic. She's also setting my son up for an examination with this doctor.

He's intently watching Dora. I wish he put the same focus into pooping in the toilet.

I need something to calm me down

It takes hours for me to decompress from my son's behavioral therapy sessions. He seems to recover quickly from screaming, crying and melting down at various points during the hour.

His torture is a small amount of mashed banana mixed into in smooth yogurt. He will struggle to touch the spoonful with his teeth, refuse to wrap his lips around it. When it enters his mouth he will put his fingers in there to remove the food, prevent himself from swallowing the poison. Then he will shake the offensive goo off his hand, spraying it around the room, or wipe the combination of spittle, yogurt and snot on his shirt in a panic. His voice a primal scream of pain and extreme discomfort.

The same horrors happen when a quarter of a miniature vanilla wafer is crumbled into a powder, then mixed in with some caramel cream pudding. His Mother got to witness this first hand today, distressing is an under statement.

The bases are foods that he likes. The mix ins, the solids, go into his system like daggers. We do not know where this profound aversion to food comes from, or started. 

We try not to get angry, keep neutral when the negative behaviors occur, when food is thrown, when he pushes food or plates and makes them fly. We do cheer when a bite is taken, cheer louder at a second. Even the iPad is not very effective as a bribe, a positive reinforcement.

No one seems to know what it will take. He's going to be ten next month and does not weigh fifty pounds. We're not even sure if inpatient therapy would help. It's not available in Columbus, and we're not sure if it's anywhere near us. Cleveland, perhaps? Then there's the insurance issue. Hell, even if unlimited funds were available, I'm not sure this would be solved. He's getting good help, or I'd like to think that, and we're received some good advice from all over. The hardest work is up to him though.