When I stand next to him now, my chin touches the top of his head. He does not stop growing. Puberty and all of its graphic descriptions is here. Something else I find myself being so woefully unprepared to face, not when he's not quite capable of letting us in on his feelings or needs.
Hints of facial hair, blemishes on his skin, morning tents, where did the time go? Was it last week when he was scooting around in the kitchen, chasing an empty jar of mayonnaise?
He still embeds himself into my side. Seventy one pounds of jutting bone and body has some very sharp spots. I wonder if he knows how tall he's getting.
His feet are stretching out so much than in another year or two he can probably fit into my own shoes.
Some days the future seems less uncertain that it is. I'm not quite sure how uncertainty translates into the cluelessness that magnifies how unprepared I feel in providing for his life as an adult, and the question I think all parents face, not just the ones of special needs children - what happens to them after I'm gone?
Showing posts with label puberty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label puberty. Show all posts
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Sunday, March 23, 2014
A dropped syllable reveals so much
My son is somewhere between 57-58 pounds now. I weigh him on the scales at the pool every couple of weeks. He is slowing gaining weight, definitely not losing. He eats fine for me, we introduced creamed corn into his diet and he has not put up any real fuss. Yes, that creamed corn is also blended, hard to wrap your head around but that's part of the challenge.
Tonight we were doing some drawing and I wrote out his first and last name and asked him to repeat it, which he did. I think that was the first time I heard him say his last name, which is all odd and unsettling to me. It defines a lot of the difficulty and what we have to face. And why didn't I do this years ago? I cannot imagine how difficult it is for him to process everything.
After that I wrote out Columbus, Ohio. I've heard him repeat Ohio before, which he pronounces as "Hi-O."
The school lottery form is being filled out and sent by his mother. She's the residential parent so it's her responsibility. We hope he gets into the place we toured, many of his classmates end up going there so we hope for that familiarity for him. So many changes ahead, including physical, which we are nowhere near prepared for.
Tonight we were doing some drawing and I wrote out his first and last name and asked him to repeat it, which he did. I think that was the first time I heard him say his last name, which is all odd and unsettling to me. It defines a lot of the difficulty and what we have to face. And why didn't I do this years ago? I cannot imagine how difficult it is for him to process everything.
After that I wrote out Columbus, Ohio. I've heard him repeat Ohio before, which he pronounces as "Hi-O."
The school lottery form is being filled out and sent by his mother. She's the residential parent so it's her responsibility. We hope he gets into the place we toured, many of his classmates end up going there so we hope for that familiarity for him. So many changes ahead, including physical, which we are nowhere near prepared for.
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