From dr.jimmyschukwu@yahoo.com

Subjext: Your payment

How are you today?
It has come to our notice that you have not received your payment despite been cleared by the authorized Financial regulatory bodies and It was also discovered that some unscrupulous individuals aiming to frustrating all your efforts have removed some vital documents from your payment file.
After much strict scrutiny on your file, we discovered that some top government officials especially in banks are working against your interest in this case.
So I have decided to help you get your funds within 8 hours from now
You are to contact me immediately for the setting up your transfer ok
Note that, All that is remaining now is for the Central bank of Nigeria to perfect a release order, sign to undo the indivisible quagmire through legal means and as such, You will no longer need all the clearance paperwork or any kind of unending bureaucratic bottlenecks as your funds does not attract any penalty or demand for terrorism clearance in international banking operation OK.
You are required to pay the sum of US$85 for the Central bank of Nigeria to perfect a release order, sign to undo the indivisible quagmire through legal means and can sign the release order of your funds without any delay.
Contact Your to contact
Mr. Randy Davis
Chief, Special duties,ministry of finance
Federal Republic of Nigeria

The spying internet

I mention on Facebook that I may be going to Paris and this showed up in my spam folder.

Hi - Chaptal ,

My name is Veronica, I'm from Paris. Last week i Bought an old book from street here in Paris and i found your email inside of it, i'm curious to know if this is a real person, and what relate you with this book! Looking forward to hearing from you! Thanks
Please reply to this email today To Either

Taping over your camera isn't going to do shit.

__The_ONE_Sign_That_YOU_Are_No_Longer_A_MAN

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I am not clicking on that!

Get my free trial today!

She calls me Dear

I'm trying to figure out the time frame of how she wants to scam me!


Attn:Dear,

I am Mrs.Ruth Cousin I am a US citizen, 58 years Old. I reside here in New Braunfels Texas. My residential address is as follows. 108 Crockett Court. Apt 303, New Braunfels Texas, United States, am thinking of relocating since I am now rich. I am one of those that took part in the Compensation in west Africa many years ago and they refused to pay me, I had paid over $79,000 while in the USA, trying to get my payment all to no avail And they always stopped my funds with one reason or the ord/er.

So I decided to travel with my Son to WASHINGTON D.C with all my compensation documents, And I was directed by the (F B I) Director to contact Mr.Bailey Wallace, who his a representative of the ( F B I ) and a member of the COMPENSATION AWARD COMMITTEE, currently in Ada Michigan. And I contacted him and he explained everything to He took me to the paying bank for the claim of my Compensation payment. Right now I am the most happiest woman on earth because I have received my compensation funds of $15, Million Us Dollars Moreover, Mr.Bailey Wallace, showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their payments and I saw your name as one of the beneficiaries, and your email address, that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those people, they are not with your fund, they are only making money out of you. I will advise you to contact Mr.Bailey Wallace.

I will advise you to contact Mr.Bailey Wallace directly today on the
information below to know if he can help you too.

COMPENSATION AWARD HOUSE
Name:Mr.Bailey Wallace
Email:baileywallace111@gmail.com


note: am sending you this email because of the love I have for you and for all those innocent people been scammed day by day, by various scam artist claming to be with there fund, You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your fund is with them, it is not in anyway with them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing.

The only money I paid after I met Mr.Bailey Wallace was just $220 for the Ownership Paper Works, take note of that.

Once again stop contacting those people, I will advise you to contact Mr.Bailey Wallace so that he can help you to deliver your fund instead of dealing with those liars that will be turning you around asking for different kind of money to complete your transaction.

Thank You and Be Blessed.

Mrs.Ruth Cousin
108 Crockett Court.
Apt 303, New Braunfels Texas

A new twist, a Samsonite twist

Attn: Consignor.

This is the UN audit unit of Miami International Airport (MIA). All forfeited and false declared Consignments are deposited herein the restricted bonded warehouse for auditing. On routine investigation, I discovered this forfeited consignment with your name on the bill of entry. On an extensive inspection the Value of the cash stuffed consignment was not declared but assumed approximately 10Millionusd. The Consignment was forfeited because of false declaration by the Consignee and the delivery officers' inability to pay the Non Inspection fee (NI). The Consignment was originally declared as personal effect while the real content is cash money.

The details on the consignment tagged is:

Type: SUITCASE
Wheels: 4 wheels
Handles: Trolley handle with top & side handles
Approximate Dimensions: Height: 3.20 ft, Width: 2.50 ft, Depth: 1.90 ft.
Weight: 250.22 lbs.

I solicit your acceptance to use my position to clear and deliver this Consignment to you on condition that I will be compensated after receipt. Indicate your acceptance by forwarding:

1. Your Full Name.
2. Home phone & Cell Phone
3. Home delivery address.
4. Airport Closest to you.
5. Any form of Identification either Drivers license or International Passport.

All communication must be private and encrypted because we are under the watchful eye of the security agents. Once the clearance is completed I will deploy the service of a secured dispatch company that will deliver to your doorstep.

Reply through my private email: office197@yeah.net

Regards,
Robert Russell.
UN Audit Officer.

Season of Alt-Sundays

Last year around this time, I said that I was giving up watching football for a year. With yesterday’s Super Bowl now history, which I did not watch, I have.

Sure, I clicked on a few headlines, watched a few clever GIFs, saw a lot of social media updates and was at a party where the Big Ten Championship was on a 65” screen so it could not be ignored - that was the only half I watched. I know Ohio State lost two games. They lost two games, right? I know the Bills were average and that Rex Ryan was fired. It seems the Pegulas need some help in running a franchise and Doug Whaley is not the answer. That’s just an opinion I had before I stopped watching.

I did not miss it, and still do not. I do shout when Lukaku scores four goals in a game or when the Blue Jackets win. I do not miss a completed pass. I do think about athletes with CTE. I do not miss Roger Goodell’s face.

Maybe this will be the Mets year!

There is no real reason for me to start watching football again.

Better poetry than mine

Goods are meant for boosting your stiffy!
Carol Wunderlich

Carol Wunderlich

I recommend to visit this site
Perry all stared at thе grate. Chimed in thе shеepman. I raised him up out of nothing.
It was painted about fifteen years ago—no.

I miss the days of Russian Brides

chaptal,

Your participation has been approved.
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To participate in the project you need to follow the link http://podaniolem.szczyrk.pl/phpdata/user-autoresponded/system-verified/login-user5.htm to our website and register. NK-69768 - your registration number. Please verify your personal data for future payments.
Your email chaptal@gmail.com.

Sincerely,
Money System.

We are Monsters and Angels, often as one

When a film maker I admire and who has been a great influence on me for most of my life is accused an absolutely abhorrent act, well I've spent years, not really in denial, possibly an apologist for him.

If I could go back in time to try Woody Allen, I'd rather see that than all the vitriol that goes around now whenever he has a new film out.

It seems like a formula now. Allen releases a film. Ronan Farrow makes a snarky tweet. Mia defends her brave son. People rush to judgement all over again. Heaven help us if he gets an Oscar nomination.

Hollywood and the press are fickle, and always in denial about their acceptance of, well a standing ovation for man who fled from sentencing in Roman Polanski says it all.

The real victim here will always be Dylan Farrow, whether or not her mother Mia coached her (very unlikely) or if Allen did rape her (more likely than not), she has definitely suffered serious trauma.

And all the open letters, creepy Woody Allen interviews and Ronan Farrow teases that he may be Frank Sinatra's son do not make a case.

Trial by internet does not help. I do not believe it ever will.

Reply: Let's Be Naughty Together

If anyone wants the phone number let me know. But you have to let me know how it goes with Cindy.


"hey there babe, I finally got a moment to read your profile and gotta say loved.. loved.. loved it!.. I'm feeling a bit naughty today would you like to put me over your knee.. pull my panties down and spank my naughty bottom? (please and thank you) ;)

if this sounds like fun to you hit me up my phone is 1-XXX-XXX-XXXX txt me!!! .

talk to you soon babe. im getting wet just thinking of you..mmm..!

xox Cindy
0"

All of the screens

Still working on how to best utilize social media. It’s hard to reduce the massive time suck that it has become. I have been using FB Purity to lessen a lot of the clutter and for the most part is has been a success. Doing less hate reading as well, which keeps the blood pressure down.

A couple of weeks ago there was a culling of about 15-20% of my Facebook contacts list. These are people who I never had any real interaction with, nor I with them so what’s the point? I think one person noticed and sent me a friend request, which I approved - and neither of us have acknowledged each other since. Again, what’s the point?

I have no idea how people manage thousands of contacts. Sure there’s a lot of filtering involved I get that, but when does a person with over 4,000 contacts get to actually interact with all of them? Do they treat it like a giant Rolodex from the olden days? Sure it’s great to have a lot of contacts. You never know when you can help a person and they you, and people are going to use the application differently I know. Personally, I need a bit more back and forth - and to control my social media content and not have it control me.

All this scrolling takes away the time I could be writing, reading, goofing off with my kid, talking to my wife, watching a decent movie, fixing the gate in the backyard - something else. Even this inane little blog post feels better to accomplish than clicking like. It is something that has been actively completed.

Now, to see what those four new tweets are all about.

These arrived 26 minutes apart, who should I respond to first?

Dear Plunkett,

I am Barrister Fred Gomeli, I contacted you in respect of my late
Client Unclaimed fund Eng M. Plunkett, (Amount US$6.000,000.00) I
want you to assist me for the claim. Write me so that we can discuss
what will be your commission. For more directives contact me through
my
private email: fredgomeliz@hotmail.com

OR!

Message from Saudi Arabia Prince Alwaleed bin Talal for his charity donation
and You have been selected as recipient/benefactor for $5Million Dollars from
Alwaleed Philanthropic Foundation Grant.for more information contact Via
email to ally00256@yandex.com

My shut up Frank DeFord post

There’s a growing tedium about social media for me these days. It’s become Social Issues Media with so many posting links about ideas they supposedly feel really passionate about with quotes from long dead icons of politics or religion or or or.

It’s either that or the constant asking for something. A gofundmekickstarter for something or someone that is important. And everything is so important these days, or worth my time, or urgent or or or.

And yes, I am damn guilty of this too. I can’t help it, the Mets are leading the division by five games.

No one seems to be doing, or at least sharing, any real writing online anymore. Storifying tweets does not count! It’s rare that I see (or do one myself) a post that is more than two or three lines. So much is dependent on a link. Live Journal is dead, Facebook has turned into clickbait and likes with little depth other than posters who really feel strongly about something right now and so should you!.

There is so much hyperbole. If everything is a masterpiece or great or amazing or or or we’ve really lowered the bar on what a masterpiece is. The fun is fading, it’s not thought provoking for me, just provoking. Hate reading is exhausting, not healthy and cuts have to be made.

Of course the people online have all the answers to everything, starting with grammar. Do not say anything wrong or you may be the subject of a passive/aggressive post because direct communication is so not right now. I am doing my best to call people on their stuff, but it’s becoming easier to unfollow or remove. My blood pressure is high enough as is. Then again, I’m not charismatic enough to have the Internet Mob pay any attention to me. Hey, reading this post helps me understand that!

I do not march in lockstep nor am I a deliberate contrarian. Hell, I do not play well with others. I’m just so fucking tired. You’re not going to get a list of twenty reasons why.

The plural tells me all I need to know

Dear Sir / Ma


My names are Eric Kolawole General Manager Banking Inspectorate of First Bank.


In brief and in our short divisional inspectorate verification and audit exercise conducted last quarter ending of December 2014, we discover abandoned or unclaimed funds for years and even as parties next of kin could not be trace, but in further verification your name was included as a proxy next of kin either through transaction you had with the late beneficiary and therefore, we have decided to contact you to find out if you will be interested to file a claim as advise here with, and we are also ready to assist you process the payment on your name or company name on an instance remittance to any account you may assign without any legal encumbrances and we share the proceed on 60% for you and we take 40% for facilitating the release as the assigned funds has been floating in our escrow account for more than 10 years now.


Anticipating your urgent response for advise.


Regards,
Dr Eric Kolawole
GMBI FIRST BANK PLC

Some peace has been added.

Earlier this week I was fed up, and it did not have much to do with the lack of sleep. Tired as fuck of seeing the comments of friends on other posts. Tired of seeing everything they clicked like on. Tired of scrolling past all the shit I do not want to see but cannot control though facebook's lame ass privacy features.

And guess what? I do not want people to see all the crap I comment on or click like on either. We all need options.

Yes, I know when you're not paying for something you are the product, but instead of pulling the plug or being subjected to Zuckerberg's social experiment I took initiative and installed FB Purity as a browser extension. It's a neat feature than allows you to customize your feed right down to words you may or may not want to see when you scroll.

All the warnings about how it might screw up your browser settings seem to be coming from social media apologists so their cred is instantly questioned. As of now there has not been any real problem. Maybe the feed is a bit slower to download, but that's because all the crap I've filtered out is being taken out. And if anything I might want to see is disappearing, so be it. It's social media, I can live with the consequences.

The past few days have been a fresh breeze of usability. I use Chrome.

Even the tiny country of Togoland has a message for me

I am contacting you for the claim of my late client fund, who is a
native of your country that was deposited with the bank here in Lome,
Togo. I am soliciting for your confidence in this matter; this is by
virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential. Though I know that
a contact of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive, but I am
assuring you that all will be well since I know everything about my
late client fund.

I have decided to contact you due to the urgency of this matter. Let
me start by introducing myself properly to you. I am Barrister Martin
Keen, the personal Attorney to my late client Engr. F. D Plunkett
(Snr) a contractor and importer here in lome-Togo and he was involved
in a ghastly motor accident along Nouvissi express Road. He was
banking with Bank, Lome Togo and had a closing balance as at the end
of September 2008, worth $ 4.5 million usd (Four Million Five Hundred
Thousand United States Dollars).

The bank now expects the Next of Kin to come forward as a beneficiary.
Efforts have been made by the management of bank to get in touch with
any of the Deceased Family or Relatives, but they have met with no
success. Now the management under the influence of the bank director
and Members of the Board of directors has made arrangement for the
fund to be declared Unclaimed so that they can share the money amongst
themselves.

In order to avert this negative development, as part of my duty, I
decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member
of his family. Hence I have contacted you, all documents and proof to
enable you get this fund will be carefully worked out by me for this
claim. I have secured from the probate an order of Mandamus to locate
any of the deceased beneficiaries, and more so I am assuring you that
this claim is 100% risk free.

On the receipt of your response I will furnish you with detailed
clarification as it relates to this mutual benefit transaction.
Respond to my confidential email (barr.martinkeen02@gmail.com) for
full details.

Thanks
Yours faithfully,
Barrister Martin Keen

This would be very big of me

Dear Friend,

My name is Hannah Anderson; I am 25 years old, from London -England,
where I school and work as a fashion designer for part time job after my
school. Am the only daughter of my parents, my father died on a fatal
auto accident on his way to see my sick mother at the hospital where she
was admitted for Cancer treatment, she also died when she heard about the
death of my father in same day at the hospital.

Before the death of my father, he had willed part of his Real Estate
Business, Gas Stations and a total sum of £50,700,000.00(Fifty Million,
Seven Hundred Thousand Pounds Sterling) to me. After the death of my both
parents, things became hard for me, paying my school fees, putting food on
the table and taking care of my other needs with my fashion designer work
which I do as a part time work after my school, I went to the
bank where my late father deposited the fund on my behalf to with-draw
money in other to take care of my self and pay for my school fees with
other bills.

I was shocked when the Bank Manager explained to me that I will not be
able to with-draw from the deposited money, because my father had put a
clause on the Will, which he used in depositing the fund with them, saying
that before I will be given access to the money, I will either have to be
30 years old or if only I get married before the age of 30 , in which
case, my husband will be legible to claim the money on my behalf by
standing in as my late fathers next of kin to claim the deposited fund on
my behalf.

Today I am only 25 years old. And I have no access to the money till I'm
30 years. So, I’m contacting you to stand as my husband to claim this fund
on my behalf and in case if you are married already, you can still help me
by standing in as my late father’s next of kin to the deposited fund. So,
please get back to me as to know how you will be remunerated as I will
part with 25% of the total sum £50,700,000.00 (Fifty Million, Seven
Hundred Thousand Pounds Sterling),while 10% will be mapped out for any
expenses that we're to use to receive the money from the deposited Bank.

Please remember that I am writing you this email purely on the ground of
trust so we can achieve this deal together. This transaction will last for
two weeks after you get back to me on how serious you are to claim this
fund on my behalf. Reply me at: hannahanderson288@yahoo.com.tw

Yours Truly,
Hannah Anderson

Subject line - My Intent

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am Ghanaian citizen and it happened that my family had a Gold concession, though we are into small scale mining, But we want to sell (350kg) of Gold that we have in stock in order to purchase mining equipments.

The equipments we need for now are excavators, bulldozers and washing machine for our mining work and we are willing to put up our gold dust for sale at a very good local price for us to be able to purchase these equipments. The fact of the mater is that, whoever we will hand over this product to sell on our behalf, will also be the person to manage all subsequent shipments of gold we hope to send overseas.

I want you to take up this process and be in the position to manage this transaction for us villagers. The brand of machinery we need is CAT/CATERPILLAR.

The good thing is that, whatever price we give to you is what we will expect to be use to purchase the machines, whatever you are able to sale above our selling price will be shared among you and me.

Let me hear from you as soon as possible to know how we can move forward.

Best Regards,

Francis Acheampong.


Does this mean Francis and his buddies are going to come over and landscape my property?

There were pictures I did not click on, not even the dog

Hello Dear,

How are you doing today? am Mattew and i must tell you how delighted i am to send you this mail. Am a single parent from Chicago,and i hope you don't get angry at my little note, I have been a widower for the last couple of years, After the death of my wife some years ago, i decided to move on in search of a partner.And I hope we can get to know more about each other! A friend of mine found his soul-mate through this medium. I like us to get acquainted via the exchange of mails as it takes time for people to compose an email and say a little about themselves. I have a son and a Labrador retriever as family and will like to know more about. Attached with this mail are my pictures for your perusal. I look forward to reading your mail. Here is my email ( gold018@outlook.com ) God bless and have a nice day.

Regards Mattew

Neil and John want to hear from me

Who should I contact first?

I Mr Neil Trotter has awarded you with a donation of £1.5 million Pounds from
part of my Jackpot Lottery of £108m Pounds in the Euromillions lottery, send your Full Name,
Complete Full Address, Valid Phone Number for claims

View http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-26627075

I await your earliest response and God Bless you.

Best of luck.


My name is Mr. John Wong, director of operations of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd.
I am seeking your assistance in a business proposal,get back to me if interested via my email:mrjohn.wong@yahoo.com