My Mother died five years ago this December. Last night I had what I believe is the first dream I've had with her in it, at least what I can remember.
It was in flashback, my son was small, and I was trying to get some rest in the basement of her house on Long Island. All I remember was my son running around in the living room, and a group of people coming in the house, including my mom.
She came downstairs to check on me and asked how I was doing. I told her exhausted but I am not going through chemo the way you are. She could not stay, had to go back to the hospital. I could not kiss her goodbye because of her condition.
Then she left, and I woke up.
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Thursday, September 13, 2018
Friday, November 3, 2017
Thomas Wolfe and the home thing
Back on Long Island for a visit. Just a visit. For a change there are no funerals to attend. The weather has been oddly glorious for early November. This morning, though, there was a dense fog and I went to Heckscher State Park to see how the Great South Bay would look. It was hard to see though the mist. Very eerie and quite cool. A mist formed over my glasses. Made me wish I’d spent more time down here in high school. Should have ridden my bike down there instead of the to the South Shore Mall to play video games. It would have given me some much needed serenity.
The presence of my Mother is at many turns I make. She worked at the Connetquot State Park, which looms large with my family. There’s a memory bench with her name on it by the hatchery, where the public cannot go. My Stepfather and I went there today. He’s struggling with mobility these days, as he ages. But he got out his walker and rolled himself there.
As I drive my rented Hyundai around Western Suffolk County, memories flood me more than usual this time. Mostly about all the places I did not go, and how much time I wasted not going to them. But there’s the place I cursed up a storm at a guy for taking my bike. There’s the building I where threw a solid punch at a guy and knocked his head back. And of course, the house I lived in under some torment. But my Mom is still all over the place, and me - well I deliberately tried to erase my presence, or at least my footprint - and I cannot put it back, nor do I want to.
Overall it has been a good and necessary visit. My Stepfather took us to dinner last night, I took him to lunch today. My Niece does not take any crap from by Brother, which is a good thing. Later, I’m taking my Aunt to dinner. After that, who knows.
The presence of my Mother is at many turns I make. She worked at the Connetquot State Park, which looms large with my family. There’s a memory bench with her name on it by the hatchery, where the public cannot go. My Stepfather and I went there today. He’s struggling with mobility these days, as he ages. But he got out his walker and rolled himself there.
As I drive my rented Hyundai around Western Suffolk County, memories flood me more than usual this time. Mostly about all the places I did not go, and how much time I wasted not going to them. But there’s the place I cursed up a storm at a guy for taking my bike. There’s the building I where threw a solid punch at a guy and knocked his head back. And of course, the house I lived in under some torment. But my Mom is still all over the place, and me - well I deliberately tried to erase my presence, or at least my footprint - and I cannot put it back, nor do I want to.
Overall it has been a good and necessary visit. My Stepfather took us to dinner last night, I took him to lunch today. My Niece does not take any crap from by Brother, which is a good thing. Later, I’m taking my Aunt to dinner. After that, who knows.
Sunday, May 8, 2016
Mom, the rock and one of the Seven Wonders of the World
Mom liked to travel, and did so frequently after my Stepfather retired. They went to a lot of places: Iceland, Hawaii, Prague, Ireland and cruises to various places. It was either 2004 or 2005 when they went to Egypt.
Mom would always ask if there was something she could get for me when she traveled. She got me a nice porcelain mug and bottle of Pilsner Urquell from the Prague trip.
I had no idea what to ask for from Egypt so I said a piece of the Sphinx.
On the back of the photo is a note that says, "Here I am holding your rock (note the shape). Cool :)"
It's a heart shaped stone. She was walking around the Sphinx, looked down for the right rock, and there it was.
She also got me a slim biography of Charlie Chaplin, in Egyptian.
Thanks Mom, love you. Miss you.
Mom would always ask if there was something she could get for me when she traveled. She got me a nice porcelain mug and bottle of Pilsner Urquell from the Prague trip.
I had no idea what to ask for from Egypt so I said a piece of the Sphinx.
On the back of the photo is a note that says, "Here I am holding your rock (note the shape). Cool :)"
It's a heart shaped stone. She was walking around the Sphinx, looked down for the right rock, and there it was.
She also got me a slim biography of Charlie Chaplin, in Egyptian.
Thanks Mom, love you. Miss you.
Friday, December 12, 2014
Reaching for the phone, and having to stop
One year ago my Mom died. People have told me it does not get any easier, and they are right. She is on my mind every day as are what my Stepfather and Aunt are going through. And what the other members of my family are going through.
It's hard, you expect that. But you do not know how much.
It's hard, you expect that. But you do not know how much.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
A rehatching
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo issued a press release today, announcing that the Hatchery at Connetquot River State Park will begin operating again next year.
My Mom worked here and loved working in the hatchery. A virus shut it down in 2008 and there was a strong chance that it would never reopen. A lot of people in the park were very disappointed that it was not happening.
"The project is funded by a $150,000 Environmental Protection Fund grant awarded through Governor Cuomo’s Regional Economic Development Council initiative. The Friends of Connetquot and other local fishing clubs will contribute $10,000 to purchase eggs needed to begin cultivating fish."
I think my Mom would have been very happy to see this happen. Her memorial bench is located by the hatchery.
The entire press release is here.
My Mom worked here and loved working in the hatchery. A virus shut it down in 2008 and there was a strong chance that it would never reopen. A lot of people in the park were very disappointed that it was not happening.
"The project is funded by a $150,000 Environmental Protection Fund grant awarded through Governor Cuomo’s Regional Economic Development Council initiative. The Friends of Connetquot and other local fishing clubs will contribute $10,000 to purchase eggs needed to begin cultivating fish."
I think my Mom would have been very happy to see this happen. Her memorial bench is located by the hatchery.
The entire press release is here.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
A new day, a new demographic.
A couple of weeks ago I received an application to join the AARP. I threw the letter out.
Today I attended the retirement party for a colleague who was moving on after thirty years. On the elevator up we were asked by another retired colleague when we were retiring. My former supervisor and I both laughed nervously. Times have changed.
I've entered my fifth decade of life on this planet and am trying hard not to focus on the bad stuff that is happening to and around me. Would have liked my Mom to witness her youngest son his this number, but that's not to be.
I have no bucket list because, like relegation, which I understand all too well, it would only lead to disappointment.
My colleague was honored with some very wonderful speeches. One of which moved me nearly to tears, to have a boss that would inspire such a meaningful speech! Another used pictures to hilarious and poignant effect.
I've only been in the system for fourteen years, I have a way to go before I sleep, if it even happens.
It was announced that Gerry Goffin, one of the finest lyricists ever, died today at the age of 75. Here's one of the great songs he wrote with Carole King. You can watch it HERE.
Today I attended the retirement party for a colleague who was moving on after thirty years. On the elevator up we were asked by another retired colleague when we were retiring. My former supervisor and I both laughed nervously. Times have changed.
I've entered my fifth decade of life on this planet and am trying hard not to focus on the bad stuff that is happening to and around me. Would have liked my Mom to witness her youngest son his this number, but that's not to be.
I have no bucket list because, like relegation, which I understand all too well, it would only lead to disappointment.
My colleague was honored with some very wonderful speeches. One of which moved me nearly to tears, to have a boss that would inspire such a meaningful speech! Another used pictures to hilarious and poignant effect.
I've only been in the system for fourteen years, I have a way to go before I sleep, if it even happens.
It was announced that Gerry Goffin, one of the finest lyricists ever, died today at the age of 75. Here's one of the great songs he wrote with Carole King. You can watch it HERE.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
The missing phone call I cannot make
First Mother's Day without Mom around this year and it's solemn. You scroll through all the pictures on the social media of friends with their Mothers who are still thriving and you can't be mad. Life is for the living. And some friends recognize that the people in their circles have Mothers who are no longer around, and that's alright too I guess.
I want to call her and say that her Grandson is going to have the same caretaker this summer as last, and they're going to have fun because they will not be going to the hospital every day like last summer.
I want to call her and say I had a great time at Kafe Kerouac's 10th anniversary bash and that Scott Woods hosted an excellent and compact 45 minutes of poetry and assembled some great poets.
I want to tell her that being involved in an increasingly bureaucratic organization is taking the fun out of it for me and I'm not doing the thing about the thing that I should be doing.
I want to tell her how wonderful my wife is at putting up with my nonsense but that we did not get into an argument at IKEA yesterday despite her not liking the coffee mug I wanted. Oh, we could afford to buy stuff at IKEA yesterday, thanks Mom.
I want to tell her we're going to have a heat pump installed later this month so we'll have central air in the house for the first time in 11 years. Thanks Mom.
I want to tell her that a lot of people miss her because she's not around. And that people will always love her.
I want to call her and say that her Grandson is going to have the same caretaker this summer as last, and they're going to have fun because they will not be going to the hospital every day like last summer.
I want to call her and say I had a great time at Kafe Kerouac's 10th anniversary bash and that Scott Woods hosted an excellent and compact 45 minutes of poetry and assembled some great poets.
I want to tell her that being involved in an increasingly bureaucratic organization is taking the fun out of it for me and I'm not doing the thing about the thing that I should be doing.
I want to tell her how wonderful my wife is at putting up with my nonsense but that we did not get into an argument at IKEA yesterday despite her not liking the coffee mug I wanted. Oh, we could afford to buy stuff at IKEA yesterday, thanks Mom.
I want to tell her we're going to have a heat pump installed later this month so we'll have central air in the house for the first time in 11 years. Thanks Mom.
I want to tell her that a lot of people miss her because she's not around. And that people will always love her.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Circling the wagons
The NHL is now in playoff season and for the second time in franchise, the Blue Jackets are in the dance. They're playing the Pittsburgh Penguins, who are on paper a much better team. This is why the game is played though, after four games of a seven game series the teams are tied at two wins a apiece, which means the Blue Jackets have won their first two playoff games in franchise history.
Last night's game was quite dramatic, the Blue Jackets were down 3-0, on home ice, with about ten minutes gone in the game. I was a bit distracted setting my my new laptop to get bummed, although I did suggest the team replace their goaltender to, perhaps, shake the team up. That did not happen.
What did happen was a slow, grinding comeback the Blue Jackets have become successful at. They picked up a goal late in the first period, another late in the second and tied in on a brutal mistake by the Penguins goaltender with about 20 seconds left in the game.
It was quite the moment. A moment that, for me, removed the curse of so many horrible things in franchise history; the last second defeats, the routs, the use of Boomer the Cannon as a mascot, Doug MacLean, the time the team let a person in the opposing teams jersey ride around on the zamboni between periods, all of the failed first round picks, the time the team played the opposing teams goal song after they scored, all of the failed trades and on and on.
The game went to overtime and the Blue Jackets won it three minutes in. I have not seen a team so resilient since, well, the Buffalo Bills of over twenty years ago.
Anything can happen in a best of three now. Both sides are bruised, hurting and willing to battle more. Because it's the Cup.
After almost seven years, my trusty Macbook that I have taken so many places was finally slowing down. I'm not sure if the hard drive (the second one) or the logic board were beginning to fail, but I was not going to put any more into it. So I picked up a MacBook Pro last night (thanks Mom!)
It's quite the device, with a lot of processing power so we can really use Chromecast to watch A Trip to Italy and Mastermind with no buffering problems. It has Pages so maybe I can get off my ass and put desktop publishing to use.
Last night's game was quite dramatic, the Blue Jackets were down 3-0, on home ice, with about ten minutes gone in the game. I was a bit distracted setting my my new laptop to get bummed, although I did suggest the team replace their goaltender to, perhaps, shake the team up. That did not happen.
What did happen was a slow, grinding comeback the Blue Jackets have become successful at. They picked up a goal late in the first period, another late in the second and tied in on a brutal mistake by the Penguins goaltender with about 20 seconds left in the game.
It was quite the moment. A moment that, for me, removed the curse of so many horrible things in franchise history; the last second defeats, the routs, the use of Boomer the Cannon as a mascot, Doug MacLean, the time the team let a person in the opposing teams jersey ride around on the zamboni between periods, all of the failed first round picks, the time the team played the opposing teams goal song after they scored, all of the failed trades and on and on.
The game went to overtime and the Blue Jackets won it three minutes in. I have not seen a team so resilient since, well, the Buffalo Bills of over twenty years ago.
Anything can happen in a best of three now. Both sides are bruised, hurting and willing to battle more. Because it's the Cup.
After almost seven years, my trusty Macbook that I have taken so many places was finally slowing down. I'm not sure if the hard drive (the second one) or the logic board were beginning to fail, but I was not going to put any more into it. So I picked up a MacBook Pro last night (thanks Mom!)
It's quite the device, with a lot of processing power so we can really use Chromecast to watch A Trip to Italy and Mastermind with no buffering problems. It has Pages so maybe I can get off my ass and put desktop publishing to use.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Stuff is happening
We've been away. In New York for a family event. On Sunday there was a dedication of a bench in the park my Mom worked. The day was beautiful and a good number of family turned out. The bench had some special engravings of daffodils and shamrocks that were done by a former co-worker of Mom's.
We all had turns sitting on the bench during a solemn but pleasant day. The bench is located by the hatchery in the park. I was walking around and found that my Mom's picture is used as part of the guided tour.
My wife and I also had time to hit a hidden winery. Loughlin Vineyards is in Sayville and is run by a very friendly 88 year old man named Barney. I did not really talk wine with him, but we talked about World War 2 as there were several old signs and maps in the tasting room. He went on, "The Germans and the Americans all had one thing in common, when they were dying, they all cried for their mothers - Let's try the merlot!"
The wine is quite good, we liked the chardonnay. There was also time to hit the beach. It was quite the shock seeing the damage that remains after Hurricane Sandy.
Used to be a gentle slope that led you to the water, not an eight foot sudden drop. That's the power this storm had.
We got lucky with the weather when we went into Manhattan. It seems the people were all released after a harsh winter. I have been going to the city for years and have never seen the streets so crowded.
Had some very good pizza at Juliana's then took on the bridge. Which led us, after a lengthy walk to McSorley's. Experienced a subway delay before goofing off with a drink in Times Square.
It was a good and necessary visit. If you're going to Long Island I recommend the Hilton Garden Inn in Ronkonkoma, which was a good base to plan from. I was upgraded to a Prius by the effervescent Shannon of Enterprise at the Islip Airport, an interesting car to drive around town in, but not one I would be comfortable in for long trips despite it's exceptional fuel economy.
Lots of other plans and items are coming, thanks to my Mom. Looking into a new heating and cooling unit for the house, and we got the new roof already. I bought a new turntable today so the Back Room is turning into a bit of a man cave and next week I'll be upgrading my old Macbook. The flights were ok. Came home to a piece of siding hanging from the house, thank you wind, so that is being addressed as well.
We all had turns sitting on the bench during a solemn but pleasant day. The bench is located by the hatchery in the park. I was walking around and found that my Mom's picture is used as part of the guided tour.
My wife and I also had time to hit a hidden winery. Loughlin Vineyards is in Sayville and is run by a very friendly 88 year old man named Barney. I did not really talk wine with him, but we talked about World War 2 as there were several old signs and maps in the tasting room. He went on, "The Germans and the Americans all had one thing in common, when they were dying, they all cried for their mothers - Let's try the merlot!"
The wine is quite good, we liked the chardonnay. There was also time to hit the beach. It was quite the shock seeing the damage that remains after Hurricane Sandy.
Used to be a gentle slope that led you to the water, not an eight foot sudden drop. That's the power this storm had.
We got lucky with the weather when we went into Manhattan. It seems the people were all released after a harsh winter. I have been going to the city for years and have never seen the streets so crowded.
Had some very good pizza at Juliana's then took on the bridge. Which led us, after a lengthy walk to McSorley's. Experienced a subway delay before goofing off with a drink in Times Square.
It was a good and necessary visit. If you're going to Long Island I recommend the Hilton Garden Inn in Ronkonkoma, which was a good base to plan from. I was upgraded to a Prius by the effervescent Shannon of Enterprise at the Islip Airport, an interesting car to drive around town in, but not one I would be comfortable in for long trips despite it's exceptional fuel economy.
Lots of other plans and items are coming, thanks to my Mom. Looking into a new heating and cooling unit for the house, and we got the new roof already. I bought a new turntable today so the Back Room is turning into a bit of a man cave and next week I'll be upgrading my old Macbook. The flights were ok. Came home to a piece of siding hanging from the house, thank you wind, so that is being addressed as well.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
When this old world starts getting me down...
We knew buying the house 11 years ago that the roof was serviceable, not old or new. The past few years, especially after a summer wind storm more and more shingles were being blown off. Never a good sign.
After the tree was pruned in the fall you could really notice the green spots in sections. No, there should not be algae on a roof.
There was some money for me after my Mom died and well, she's still keeping a roof over our heads.
The roofers were supposed to show up last Wednesday to do the install. As evidenced by the footprints in the snow all over my yard, they did, but decided there was still too much ice and snow to do the job. This was fine, I do not want anyone hurt.
It rained all day Thursday so no one showed up.
Friday morning at about 7:45, right after my son got off the bus I heard noises in the yard. The roofers had arrived. It was still a bit windy but they went to work, as did I. Stressed out at work all day and waiting for a call that would tell me they had to replace the boarding under the shingles, but that never happened!
When I got home, they were still going. The main roof was finished but the back porch was not done. I was told there were three layers of shingles on the main part of the roof, which was a lot of extra work, and an incredible mess.
They finished up on Saturday, and did a terrific job. They did a great job cleaning up and even fixed the back gate, which they knocked off kilter a little bit when they moved equipment back and forth. They left a few things looking better than when they got to it, very impressive work by Able Roofers.
So now we have nice, shiny shingles that should last a couple of decades. It also made us realize how badly the house needs a pressure wash. Next!
After the tree was pruned in the fall you could really notice the green spots in sections. No, there should not be algae on a roof.
There was some money for me after my Mom died and well, she's still keeping a roof over our heads.
The roofers were supposed to show up last Wednesday to do the install. As evidenced by the footprints in the snow all over my yard, they did, but decided there was still too much ice and snow to do the job. This was fine, I do not want anyone hurt.
It rained all day Thursday so no one showed up.
Friday morning at about 7:45, right after my son got off the bus I heard noises in the yard. The roofers had arrived. It was still a bit windy but they went to work, as did I. Stressed out at work all day and waiting for a call that would tell me they had to replace the boarding under the shingles, but that never happened!
When I got home, they were still going. The main roof was finished but the back porch was not done. I was told there were three layers of shingles on the main part of the roof, which was a lot of extra work, and an incredible mess.
They finished up on Saturday, and did a terrific job. They did a great job cleaning up and even fixed the back gate, which they knocked off kilter a little bit when they moved equipment back and forth. They left a few things looking better than when they got to it, very impressive work by Able Roofers.
So now we have nice, shiny shingles that should last a couple of decades. It also made us realize how badly the house needs a pressure wash. Next!
Monday, February 10, 2014
At night the stars put on a show for free
When you live in a 85 year old house and find shingles on the ground from your roof after a summer storm you know it's not going to last much longer. Already knew there were two, maybe three layers of shingles up there. Having come into a modest amount of money, the time to get the roof replaced is now, while there are no major holes or leaks to worry about.
It was a tough check to write, but an investment that will be to our advantage when we do put the house on the market - whenever that will be.
After the rep left, my wife said it was wine time, and we toasted my Mom, who is again putting a roof over our heads. Thanks Mom.
It was a tough check to write, but an investment that will be to our advantage when we do put the house on the market - whenever that will be.
After the rep left, my wife said it was wine time, and we toasted my Mom, who is again putting a roof over our heads. Thanks Mom.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Close to a dock on the bay
It was something my wife said. Something along the lines of not being unable to stop thinking about her, wearing the gloves and coat she got me - who is going to dress us now?
My brother asked if I would write a nice poem. I was a bit raw at the time, it may not have been nice.
The morning of the viewing I got in the rental and headed south down Ocean Avenue, it ended at a park on the Great South Bay. I parked the car on a windy, cold and damp morning and wrote this while Captain Jack was on the radio. Had it in my back pocket all weekend, but was never asked if I wanted to read anything. It's ok that I was not, was ready though.
An Endless Covering
You gave me your skin
these clothes on my back
and we wonder who will dress us
now that you are no longer here
to answer long distance phone calls
on Sunday nights.
Calls for advice, venting
a reveal of good news
and changes in health
Because you fought so hard
we will keep in motion
the way the water on the windy
Great South Bay
leaps at high tide
We continue and know that in our dressers,
our camphor closets are stocked
with sweaters, warm socks
that forever remind us
of your love
My brother asked if I would write a nice poem. I was a bit raw at the time, it may not have been nice.
The morning of the viewing I got in the rental and headed south down Ocean Avenue, it ended at a park on the Great South Bay. I parked the car on a windy, cold and damp morning and wrote this while Captain Jack was on the radio. Had it in my back pocket all weekend, but was never asked if I wanted to read anything. It's ok that I was not, was ready though.
An Endless Covering
You gave me your skin
these clothes on my back
and we wonder who will dress us
now that you are no longer here
to answer long distance phone calls
on Sunday nights.
Calls for advice, venting
a reveal of good news
and changes in health
Because you fought so hard
we will keep in motion
the way the water on the windy
Great South Bay
leaps at high tide
We continue and know that in our dressers,
our camphor closets are stocked
with sweaters, warm socks
that forever remind us
of your love
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Not much better than the Ford Focus I rented
When you move away from your parents, you do not know about all of the life they have. My Mom touched a lot of lives. The viewings were both jam packed with people who came to pay their respects. There were people I had not seen in 30-40 years. There were friends and co-workers who knew who I was even though I had no clue who they were.
The funeral home put together a nice video of pictures from various parts of her life that was quite touching. I contributed a few last minute pictures of my own and also made my own little slide show of my Mom's life that you can see here.
I'd always tease my Mom about her love of Rod Stewart, which was why I chose one of his songs for the video I made.
The mass was kind of bungled up by a new priest from Colombia, who spoke softly, with a very thick accent. He relied on the microphone to project his voice and it was not working for him. Then the battery died on the mic, and he could be heard better once he spoke louder. It got weird when one of the laypeople was looking for batteries in the room behind the altar and you could heard all kinds of drawers opening along with some banging.
It got weirder when the priest lost the plot and invited some dead relatives to bring the gifts to the altar. Had said deceased relatives shown up with the gifts of wine and bread, I may have converted then and there.
Then the priest honored the deceased relatives by naming someone who was very much alive, that's when one of my family members had to get up and correct the guy.
I was told about a bagpiper who would be outside the church when my Mom's coffin was brought out, it still startled me a little. Later, I heard the piper arrived early and mistakenly started playing in the cold and snow for the funeral service that happened before my Mom's. So the poor guy had to stand out there and play twice.
You had to laugh, and we did.
When I got home, I wanted to call her to say I got home alright. There are going to be so many of those moments now. Every piece of news about my son, when I'm looking to chat or vent or anything, she's not going to be there. It will take awhile for me to process that. And I have to work hard to keep involved with the family left on the island.
My Mom worked at the Connetquot State Park for many years and loved her job. If anyone wishes to pay their respects, they can send a donation in Honor of Patricia Costello the Friends of the Connetquot River Reserve. There are plans of honoring my Mom with a park bench and a plaque on a sycamore tree. It's a wonderful way to remember her.
The funeral home put together a nice video of pictures from various parts of her life that was quite touching. I contributed a few last minute pictures of my own and also made my own little slide show of my Mom's life that you can see here.
I'd always tease my Mom about her love of Rod Stewart, which was why I chose one of his songs for the video I made.
The mass was kind of bungled up by a new priest from Colombia, who spoke softly, with a very thick accent. He relied on the microphone to project his voice and it was not working for him. Then the battery died on the mic, and he could be heard better once he spoke louder. It got weird when one of the laypeople was looking for batteries in the room behind the altar and you could heard all kinds of drawers opening along with some banging.
It got weirder when the priest lost the plot and invited some dead relatives to bring the gifts to the altar. Had said deceased relatives shown up with the gifts of wine and bread, I may have converted then and there.
Then the priest honored the deceased relatives by naming someone who was very much alive, that's when one of my family members had to get up and correct the guy.
I was told about a bagpiper who would be outside the church when my Mom's coffin was brought out, it still startled me a little. Later, I heard the piper arrived early and mistakenly started playing in the cold and snow for the funeral service that happened before my Mom's. So the poor guy had to stand out there and play twice.
You had to laugh, and we did.
When I got home, I wanted to call her to say I got home alright. There are going to be so many of those moments now. Every piece of news about my son, when I'm looking to chat or vent or anything, she's not going to be there. It will take awhile for me to process that. And I have to work hard to keep involved with the family left on the island.
My Mom worked at the Connetquot State Park for many years and loved her job. If anyone wishes to pay their respects, they can send a donation in Honor of Patricia Costello the Friends of the Connetquot River Reserve. There are plans of honoring my Mom with a park bench and a plaque on a sycamore tree. It's a wonderful way to remember her.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Within you and without you
Even in her condition Mom always tried to stay busy. She was not one to sit on the couch and feel like crap, she did not like feeling that way.
On good days and bad she worked in the state park mowing the lawn, working the booth and, when it existed, helping to feed the trout in the hatchery. She and my Stepfather traveled frequently. I heard tales of her ziplining in the rain forests of Costa Rica. They went to Prague, when she got me a lovely Pilsner Urquell gift set. They went to Ireland, both of them, several times. They liked going on cruises to nowhere and casinos in Atlantic City and Connecticut.
When I found out they were going to Egypt, I jokingly asked her to get me a piece of the Sphinx. A smoke from a hookah and camel ride later, Mom was walking around the monument when she found a rock on the ground.
I treasure that stone.
On good days and bad she worked in the state park mowing the lawn, working the booth and, when it existed, helping to feed the trout in the hatchery. She and my Stepfather traveled frequently. I heard tales of her ziplining in the rain forests of Costa Rica. They went to Prague, when she got me a lovely Pilsner Urquell gift set. They went to Ireland, both of them, several times. They liked going on cruises to nowhere and casinos in Atlantic City and Connecticut.
When I found out they were going to Egypt, I jokingly asked her to get me a piece of the Sphinx. A smoke from a hookah and camel ride later, Mom was walking around the monument when she found a rock on the ground.
I treasure that stone.
Friday, December 13, 2013
Peace, and how fast it can happen
My Mom died last night. She had been ill for awhile, but this was not expected. I spoke to her on Sunday, neither of us realizing it would be the last conversation we would have. It was a pleasant talk, about my son and Christmas and her pending chemotherapy. She was in good spirits and sounded more energetic that she did in some time.
She started the chemo on Monday, and things went horribly wrong. She never liked social media much so I will not go into the details about her health. She died peacefully. My Stepfather, brothers and her sister all giving support. She was loved. Very much.
A friend's mother died very suddenly in a car accident on Monday. It can all end in a moment. It's been an odd week. I'm leaving on Sunday for the service and what comes with it. Still trying to process the loss of the person who has known me the longest, and who will live on in memory.
She started the chemo on Monday, and things went horribly wrong. She never liked social media much so I will not go into the details about her health. She died peacefully. My Stepfather, brothers and her sister all giving support. She was loved. Very much.
A friend's mother died very suddenly in a car accident on Monday. It can all end in a moment. It's been an odd week. I'm leaving on Sunday for the service and what comes with it. Still trying to process the loss of the person who has known me the longest, and who will live on in memory.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)