Been ill most of the week, a lingering malaise of various internal organs. Each day I last about a half hour further before a quick fade out that leads into not being able to fall asleep.
At least the taxes are done. After all the financial changes of the past year we had them done professionally and what a relief. Total piece of mind, even if we owed.
It's still autism awareness month, right? Am I still aware? I'll find out more tomorrow afternoon.
It seems Brew Dog have sold a chunk of themselves to a capital firm. Looks like that's how they're going to fund the hotel on the Canal Winchester property. Things are getting weird now that the punk founders are multi-millionaires.
All of this could be a moot point if this administration starts blowing up more than runways.
April is national poetry month too. The less said about my writing, the better.
Instead of continuing, it might be time to get into that strawberry parfait.
Showing posts with label eating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eating. Show all posts
Sunday, April 9, 2017
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Truck, what truck?
52 is an odd year for an even number. I'm one year younger than my Brother when he died. It's tough to wrap my head around that, still, and all the other grief I've dealt with over the last year.
Did a lot of driving this weekend in the new car. It's been a comfort, a lot of fun to drive. Went to Yellow Springs for lunch, another match of International Mini Golf (the first draw!) and to Westerville for dinner. Took in a good sunset at Hoover Reservoir.
My Wife's been taking good care of me. This afternoon we went to the Ohio Theater and took in a matinee of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Clark Wilson did his thing on the Mighty Morton Organ.
So it's been a good birthday weekend. And I got a reminder from my son's mother about upping the size of diapers. He's eating well, if not sleeping right, but he is growing - he never came with a pause button.
Did a lot of driving this weekend in the new car. It's been a comfort, a lot of fun to drive. Went to Yellow Springs for lunch, another match of International Mini Golf (the first draw!) and to Westerville for dinner. Took in a good sunset at Hoover Reservoir.
My Wife's been taking good care of me. This afternoon we went to the Ohio Theater and took in a matinee of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Clark Wilson did his thing on the Mighty Morton Organ.
So it's been a good birthday weekend. And I got a reminder from my son's mother about upping the size of diapers. He's eating well, if not sleeping right, but he is growing - he never came with a pause button.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
The first pity post of 2014
Resolutions really are not my thing, they lead to disappointment. Sure, I'd like to drop 30-40 pounds, live a more authentic life that is filled with joy, substance and other buzz terms of the New Year but it's hard to not be cynical even though you know you have to plow through the first signs of failure.
The last few weeks have been a real struggle. It's been doubly hard when I have had little rest due to my son's energy and poor sleep cycles dominating the evening and early morning hours. I freely admit to being a total asshole when I'm sleep deprived, and thank my wife profusely for taking care of my son during the days of his winter break. Dealing with me in general is not easy, and I cannot express my gratitude enough that she chooses to sleep next to me, and stuff.
My son has definitely made real, solid and true progress with his eating. He's gaining weight, and that is a goal being reached. In other ways though, he's really locked in his world, in verbal and social skills he is sorely lacking and in toilet training, well, not going there in full today.
So it's disheartening hearing about other people's kids doing so well in school and sports and in life. Why didn't I get this? Woe is me. I do not begrudge the success of anyone's child. It's great, and wonderful. But to go brag about asking my son what he wants when he gets out of the shower and he says the word, "dry." Really do not want to put that in a status update. Especially when I ask him at 4:30 the next morning, after he's been up for an hour, after four hours sleep, what he wants and I get no response at all but another few pages of script he memorized from the Wonderpets. Here's where I question my parenting skills, and this happens often.
So it's the lack of daylight, and warmth, and the grief I'm feeling in so many ways right now has reduced my confidence, made my face break out and put me off track in writing and getting my shit together with the Arts Festival. I mean, what the hell do I do when people to not respond to a direct question? I can't put my energy into repeating the questions anymore.
In some ways I'm feeling like an outsider looking in on other people's lives and my lack of involvement in them. Sometimes I think all the cool stuff happens on weekends and nights I have my son. I also know it is my fault I am not reaching out enough. In 2014, I can only once again get the energy to get out of the house, shut the laptop and try try again to move forward. This is a very hard thing to accomplish.
The last few weeks have been a real struggle. It's been doubly hard when I have had little rest due to my son's energy and poor sleep cycles dominating the evening and early morning hours. I freely admit to being a total asshole when I'm sleep deprived, and thank my wife profusely for taking care of my son during the days of his winter break. Dealing with me in general is not easy, and I cannot express my gratitude enough that she chooses to sleep next to me, and stuff.
My son has definitely made real, solid and true progress with his eating. He's gaining weight, and that is a goal being reached. In other ways though, he's really locked in his world, in verbal and social skills he is sorely lacking and in toilet training, well, not going there in full today.
So it's disheartening hearing about other people's kids doing so well in school and sports and in life. Why didn't I get this? Woe is me. I do not begrudge the success of anyone's child. It's great, and wonderful. But to go brag about asking my son what he wants when he gets out of the shower and he says the word, "dry." Really do not want to put that in a status update. Especially when I ask him at 4:30 the next morning, after he's been up for an hour, after four hours sleep, what he wants and I get no response at all but another few pages of script he memorized from the Wonderpets. Here's where I question my parenting skills, and this happens often.
So it's the lack of daylight, and warmth, and the grief I'm feeling in so many ways right now has reduced my confidence, made my face break out and put me off track in writing and getting my shit together with the Arts Festival. I mean, what the hell do I do when people to not respond to a direct question? I can't put my energy into repeating the questions anymore.
In some ways I'm feeling like an outsider looking in on other people's lives and my lack of involvement in them. Sometimes I think all the cool stuff happens on weekends and nights I have my son. I also know it is my fault I am not reaching out enough. In 2014, I can only once again get the energy to get out of the house, shut the laptop and try try again to move forward. This is a very hard thing to accomplish.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Halfway through this part
My son is three weeks into his feeding program with three weeks to go. How's it going? Well, no one expected him to be munching on raw carrots or eating hot chicken wings at the end of it so he's doing alright.
Textures have been gradually introduced with more frequency. He's eating mashed up and blended diced pears, which have some serious grit to them (I've tried them) and mushed up canned peas (Had those too) with no resistance.
The last week has been ok. There have only been a couple of instances of him leaving the chair to sit under the table, and that was only for a couple of minutes. He's only complained once or twice and has not thrown or pushed any food away. He trusts the team more and has had no real outbursts. He's also been eating just about everything. He still needs to be prompted as his attention wavers frequently.
What has surprised and impressed me the most so far has been the amount of milk he's eagerly drinking. He rarely drank anything for me, a little more so at his mother's. He's been putting away over twelve ounces a day, which is a big change from zero.
Improvement has and will continue to be on the slow side, and he's going to need weekly therapy to keep up on this program when it is completed. I'm not really seeing a light at the end of this tunnel, but the ground feels a bit more solid under our feet.
Textures have been gradually introduced with more frequency. He's eating mashed up and blended diced pears, which have some serious grit to them (I've tried them) and mushed up canned peas (Had those too) with no resistance.
The last week has been ok. There have only been a couple of instances of him leaving the chair to sit under the table, and that was only for a couple of minutes. He's only complained once or twice and has not thrown or pushed any food away. He trusts the team more and has had no real outbursts. He's also been eating just about everything. He still needs to be prompted as his attention wavers frequently.
What has surprised and impressed me the most so far has been the amount of milk he's eagerly drinking. He rarely drank anything for me, a little more so at his mother's. He's been putting away over twelve ounces a day, which is a big change from zero.
Improvement has and will continue to be on the slow side, and he's going to need weekly therapy to keep up on this program when it is completed. I'm not really seeing a light at the end of this tunnel, but the ground feels a bit more solid under our feet.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Write about it, jinx it
Shared custody means alternating weekends, and this one is mine. He's been a pleasure to be around. Sleeping well, listening, getting out some new (to me, at least) words.
Friday afternoon he turned the light in the dining room on, sat at the table and said, "Hungry." This is a rarity. He ate everything without much dawdling too. In the evening he looked at me, said "Cereal" and went to the table. A definite plus when he shows interest in eating, anything.
Saturday morning I gave him his fruit while I mixed up his cereal. He usually has plenty left before I get it to him. Not so this time, he was done with it. After he ate he ran around the house in an agitated state. Not sure what this boded for his swimming lesson later in the morning.
He's been getting out of the pool early the past few weeks, coming up to us and saying "all done." And he is. You can't get him back in the pool.
This week his instructor used a ball as a motivator, and N. took to it. He followed it all over the pool. What was amazing is that he took it with him when he got out of the pool by the diving boards. He got on the board, threw the ball in and followed it. He had never jumped in the pool from that end without any pushing or prompting. He repeated this quite a few times. So many that I had a chance to shoot this.
He was great at the grocery, grouchy and screamy when I took the iPad from him. Interaction's been tough, but I've been a couch potato most of the weekend anyway. Too much interesting sports on the big screen tv!
Been following some distressing threads on Facebook about a few racial and sexual concerns. Conversations and confrontation that should be had, but it's dangerous seeing the mob enter the scene with their electronic pitchforks and torches. Been tough to watch that this weekend.
Friday afternoon he turned the light in the dining room on, sat at the table and said, "Hungry." This is a rarity. He ate everything without much dawdling too. In the evening he looked at me, said "Cereal" and went to the table. A definite plus when he shows interest in eating, anything.
Saturday morning I gave him his fruit while I mixed up his cereal. He usually has plenty left before I get it to him. Not so this time, he was done with it. After he ate he ran around the house in an agitated state. Not sure what this boded for his swimming lesson later in the morning.
He's been getting out of the pool early the past few weeks, coming up to us and saying "all done." And he is. You can't get him back in the pool.
This week his instructor used a ball as a motivator, and N. took to it. He followed it all over the pool. What was amazing is that he took it with him when he got out of the pool by the diving boards. He got on the board, threw the ball in and followed it. He had never jumped in the pool from that end without any pushing or prompting. He repeated this quite a few times. So many that I had a chance to shoot this.
He was great at the grocery, grouchy and screamy when I took the iPad from him. Interaction's been tough, but I've been a couch potato most of the weekend anyway. Too much interesting sports on the big screen tv!
Been following some distressing threads on Facebook about a few racial and sexual concerns. Conversations and confrontation that should be had, but it's dangerous seeing the mob enter the scene with their electronic pitchforks and torches. Been tough to watch that this weekend.
Monday, August 6, 2012
I need something to calm me down
It takes hours for me to decompress from my son's behavioral therapy sessions. He seems to recover quickly from screaming, crying and melting down at various points during the hour.
His torture is a small amount of mashed banana mixed into in smooth yogurt. He will struggle to touch the spoonful with his teeth, refuse to wrap his lips around it. When it enters his mouth he will put his fingers in there to remove the food, prevent himself from swallowing the poison. Then he will shake the offensive goo off his hand, spraying it around the room, or wipe the combination of spittle, yogurt and snot on his shirt in a panic. His voice a primal scream of pain and extreme discomfort.
The same horrors happen when a quarter of a miniature vanilla wafer is crumbled into a powder, then mixed in with some caramel cream pudding. His Mother got to witness this first hand today, distressing is an under statement.
The bases are foods that he likes. The mix ins, the solids, go into his system like daggers. We do not know where this profound aversion to food comes from, or started.
We try not to get angry, keep neutral when the negative behaviors occur, when food is thrown, when he pushes food or plates and makes them fly. We do cheer when a bite is taken, cheer louder at a second. Even the iPad is not very effective as a bribe, a positive reinforcement.
No one seems to know what it will take. He's going to be ten next month and does not weigh fifty pounds. We're not even sure if inpatient therapy would help. It's not available in Columbus, and we're not sure if it's anywhere near us. Cleveland, perhaps? Then there's the insurance issue. Hell, even if unlimited funds were available, I'm not sure this would be solved. He's getting good help, or I'd like to think that, and we're received some good advice from all over. The hardest work is up to him though.
His torture is a small amount of mashed banana mixed into in smooth yogurt. He will struggle to touch the spoonful with his teeth, refuse to wrap his lips around it. When it enters his mouth he will put his fingers in there to remove the food, prevent himself from swallowing the poison. Then he will shake the offensive goo off his hand, spraying it around the room, or wipe the combination of spittle, yogurt and snot on his shirt in a panic. His voice a primal scream of pain and extreme discomfort.
The same horrors happen when a quarter of a miniature vanilla wafer is crumbled into a powder, then mixed in with some caramel cream pudding. His Mother got to witness this first hand today, distressing is an under statement.
The bases are foods that he likes. The mix ins, the solids, go into his system like daggers. We do not know where this profound aversion to food comes from, or started.
We try not to get angry, keep neutral when the negative behaviors occur, when food is thrown, when he pushes food or plates and makes them fly. We do cheer when a bite is taken, cheer louder at a second. Even the iPad is not very effective as a bribe, a positive reinforcement.
No one seems to know what it will take. He's going to be ten next month and does not weigh fifty pounds. We're not even sure if inpatient therapy would help. It's not available in Columbus, and we're not sure if it's anywhere near us. Cleveland, perhaps? Then there's the insurance issue. Hell, even if unlimited funds were available, I'm not sure this would be solved. He's getting good help, or I'd like to think that, and we're received some good advice from all over. The hardest work is up to him though.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Underwhelming at best
Today my son had an appointment with a nutritionist. We were told to arrive early, and with a food chart of what he ate over a four day period.
I got to the information desk where I was to check in and was treated rather obnoxiously by the customer service rep, "You're going to have to wait."
"Well I was told to arrive early."
Was also told we would be billed if we arrived more than twenty minutes late.
The nutritionist finally showed up, twenty minutes after our scheduled appointment time.
Her main solutions to my son's condition were vitamin supplements and Duocal, an expensive powder of chemicals and empty calories. We've been hearing this for years. My son detects things if you put them in his food, and will not eat, at all, once he's found them.
I wonder if this specialist actually read his file.
She also suggested we put the food we eat in a blender and see if he'll eat that.
Wow, what a new approach. Again. Did you read the file?
I know this specialist's role does not concern him actually eating, but the amount of vitamins and calories that go into my son's body. I heard nothing new today, and my time was mostly wasted. I did get a couple of tips on supplements that I am going to get for him.
For now though, for me it's Mellow Corn.
I got to the information desk where I was to check in and was treated rather obnoxiously by the customer service rep, "You're going to have to wait."
"Well I was told to arrive early."
Was also told we would be billed if we arrived more than twenty minutes late.
The nutritionist finally showed up, twenty minutes after our scheduled appointment time.
Her main solutions to my son's condition were vitamin supplements and Duocal, an expensive powder of chemicals and empty calories. We've been hearing this for years. My son detects things if you put them in his food, and will not eat, at all, once he's found them.
I wonder if this specialist actually read his file.
She also suggested we put the food we eat in a blender and see if he'll eat that.
Wow, what a new approach. Again. Did you read the file?
I know this specialist's role does not concern him actually eating, but the amount of vitamins and calories that go into my son's body. I heard nothing new today, and my time was mostly wasted. I did get a couple of tips on supplements that I am going to get for him.
For now though, for me it's Mellow Corn.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Mourihno is a bad man
When a place you frequent is having a bad night, you can tell. When you look behind the bar toward the kitchen there's a tension you can see. I'm not sure if the place was short staffed, or simply not prepared. It was busy, I've been there when it was busy and I'm still not sure what was different.
It took a long time for our order to be placed. We ordered guacomole dip to go with our chips and salsa. It never showed up, and we asked about it. There was nothing wrong with the food but it took its time in arriving. In the meantime, the Barcelona/Real Madrid match was on, and it was entertaining to see there was one Madrid fan watching. He cheered when they tied it up, then got sad when Messi scored the game winner. Then the game got all thuggish, a bunch of men waving their purses at each other and it was all over.
We waited at least fifteen minutes for the bill to arrive, and the guacomole dip, which we never did receive, was on it.
I rarely do not tip, and last night was one of those times. The establishment had an off night, as can happen, so we're not going to dismiss it.
A fine return to Writers' Block last night. Chet Peters strafed the stage with F-Bombs during his feature. Rose Smith wowed us with a poem celebrating her daughters. Marshall cam back from exile and gave us some Meta-Five! The Race War continued. Some time soon I may even post some pictures. Hell, I still have not talked about Theresa Davis' first draft feature!
Next week is the last qualifying slam for IWPS. Since I will not be in the country for finals (assuming I get in, and it looks like I would be) I'm treating this like the last official slam of the year. Take that as you will.
It took a long time for our order to be placed. We ordered guacomole dip to go with our chips and salsa. It never showed up, and we asked about it. There was nothing wrong with the food but it took its time in arriving. In the meantime, the Barcelona/Real Madrid match was on, and it was entertaining to see there was one Madrid fan watching. He cheered when they tied it up, then got sad when Messi scored the game winner. Then the game got all thuggish, a bunch of men waving their purses at each other and it was all over.
We waited at least fifteen minutes for the bill to arrive, and the guacomole dip, which we never did receive, was on it.
I rarely do not tip, and last night was one of those times. The establishment had an off night, as can happen, so we're not going to dismiss it.
A fine return to Writers' Block last night. Chet Peters strafed the stage with F-Bombs during his feature. Rose Smith wowed us with a poem celebrating her daughters. Marshall cam back from exile and gave us some Meta-Five! The Race War continued. Some time soon I may even post some pictures. Hell, I still have not talked about Theresa Davis' first draft feature!
Next week is the last qualifying slam for IWPS. Since I will not be in the country for finals (assuming I get in, and it looks like I would be) I'm treating this like the last official slam of the year. Take that as you will.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Bring Me Your Higher Jump
Today was my son's last swimming lesson for the summer. The last few weeks he's climbed onto the board in the deep end, stood there, then sat there. Last week he got tossed in from a sitting position. This week they took it to the next step.
He does like being tossed around in the pool, and being in twelve and a half feet of water does not faze him either. He is a very good swimmer and can tread water very well. They're cleaning the pool and fixing it up for a few weeks. Next time in is September 10th.
After his lesson he and I went to a event. A few weeks ago we received an invitation from one of his classmates to his birthday party. This was the first time he has been invited to a birthday party. I was a bit nervous myself, meeting new people is not activity I seek out, but I sucked it up and we went.
As it turned out, he was the only one of his classmates who attended. We were around people who understand special needs children and while my son sat next to me most of the time, we had a good time batting balloons around the living room with everyone. They own a couple of nice, smallish dogs that he was a bit vary of, but they did not really bother him, or anyone else. One child though, is afraid of dogs and was very uncomfortable with the dogs barking in a shut room so they had to leave early.
When the cake was cut I had some yogurt and pudding ready for him, and a splendid time was had by everyone. Very glad I crossed my own comfort zone to do this for him.
He's been in OT for his eating issues for a month and a half now. He's getting on with his therapist but she's not able to break through. He does great, follows along with her, until it's time to eat. You put a couple crumbs of graham cracker, or any thickener into his food he notices and completely shuts down. It's going to be tough.
He does like being tossed around in the pool, and being in twelve and a half feet of water does not faze him either. He is a very good swimmer and can tread water very well. They're cleaning the pool and fixing it up for a few weeks. Next time in is September 10th.
After his lesson he and I went to a event. A few weeks ago we received an invitation from one of his classmates to his birthday party. This was the first time he has been invited to a birthday party. I was a bit nervous myself, meeting new people is not activity I seek out, but I sucked it up and we went.
As it turned out, he was the only one of his classmates who attended. We were around people who understand special needs children and while my son sat next to me most of the time, we had a good time batting balloons around the living room with everyone. They own a couple of nice, smallish dogs that he was a bit vary of, but they did not really bother him, or anyone else. One child though, is afraid of dogs and was very uncomfortable with the dogs barking in a shut room so they had to leave early.
When the cake was cut I had some yogurt and pudding ready for him, and a splendid time was had by everyone. Very glad I crossed my own comfort zone to do this for him.
He's been in OT for his eating issues for a month and a half now. He's getting on with his therapist but she's not able to break through. He does great, follows along with her, until it's time to eat. You put a couple crumbs of graham cracker, or any thickener into his food he notices and completely shuts down. It's going to be tough.
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