Last night was First Draft Poetry's Nuku Haiku Night. All Haiku. All new. Had a few written out that I was going to read, then I was asked to be in the Death Match so I had to write more.
Not very good with Haiku, and in a head to head best of five battle I was even worse as I lost 4-1. When you lose though, you want to be beaten by the best and I lost to Dan the Lawyer, who won the coveted crown. Always a fun night. Here's what I put together.
Submit your poems to
The Columbus Arts Festival
You have one week left
Thick hair on the soap
That we found in the bathtub
Is that yours, or mine?
Vladimir Putin
Half naked, killing a bear
Don’t molest children
The haiku battle
I look forward to the shit
Not cleaning it up
Delayed orgasm
Oh the waiting, the waiting
Like health care dot gov
Remember that time
We were all so pissed off at
Ani DiFranco?
What death really is
A totally accurate
Mayan calendar
Artisan condoms
Made from things around the house
Just like McGuyver
When Peyton Manning
yells Omaha, a Cleveland
Brown gets arrested
100 reasons
Why we’re dumbing down quickly
Buzzfeed can suck it
Your haiku is weak
Did you write it at your desk
The same way I did
I never win these
Three lines is so hard
Seventeen sylla-
Which castaway will
Die alone on the island?
Maryann? Ginger?
Every NFL
Player wants to see Denver
It’s reefer madness
There is a sex doll
That is made out of bacon
Hipster obsessions
An IPA beer
Whose spare gas fills bike tires
Hipster obsessions
I have lost enough
Of these to know for certain
I will lose again
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