Saturday, January 18, 2014

5-7-5 night

Last night was First Draft Poetry's Nuku Haiku Night. All Haiku. All new. Had a few written out that I was going to read, then I was asked to be in the Death Match so I had to write more.

Not very good with Haiku, and in a head to head best of five battle I was even worse as I lost 4-1. When you lose though, you want to be beaten by the best and I lost to Dan the Lawyer, who won the coveted crown. Always a fun night. Here's what I put together.

Submit your poems to
The Columbus Arts Festival
You have one week left

Thick hair on the soap
That we found in the bathtub
Is that yours, or mine?

Vladimir Putin
Half naked, killing a bear
Don’t molest children

The haiku battle
I look forward to the shit
Not cleaning it up

Delayed orgasm
Oh the waiting, the waiting
Like health care dot gov

Remember that time
We were all so pissed off at
Ani DiFranco?

What death really is
A totally accurate
Mayan calendar

Artisan condoms
Made from things around the house
Just like McGuyver

When Peyton Manning
yells Omaha, a Cleveland
Brown gets arrested

100 reasons
Why we’re dumbing down quickly
Buzzfeed can suck it

Your haiku is weak
Did you write it at your desk
The same way I did

I never win these
Three lines is so hard
Seventeen sylla-

Which castaway will
Die alone on the island?
Maryann? Ginger?

Every NFL
Player wants to see Denver
It’s reefer madness

There is a sex doll
That is made out of bacon
Hipster obsessions

An IPA beer
Whose spare gas fills bike tires
Hipster obsessions

I have lost enough
Of these to know for certain
I will lose again

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