The hard parental choices

The problems began in October. My son did not want to get dressed at his Mother's house to get ready for school. This escalated into a much bigger problem for her, and for him.

Being a non-verbal teenager has to be one frustrating way to go through life, it's really hard to watch and live with. His behavior changed due to, what? Hormones, another illness, something happening to him we do not know about because he cannot speak. In any case, he was not safe due to his self harming behaviors.

We did, eventually, get him to a doctor and she heard us and saw him at his best and worst. Blood was drawn (it took four people to hold him down and one to do the draw), and we found out his strep levels were elevated. From here we learned of a condition called PANDAS in which people display very aggressive and obsessive/compulsive behaviors when they have strep. He was given antibiotics in liquid form, and his behaviors did not really diminish much.

A return to the doctor resulted in us receiving a prescription for a rather powerful drug, which we give him in pill form. It's a fast dissolving tablet that he is allowing us to give to him with no real difficulty. He initially was supposed to get an X dose, but his mother and I suggested a lower dose to start, because we've never seen the effects of the drug. She agreed.

The drug tired him out, we think he slept more, some of the behaviors diminished but he's still not allowing his mother to dress him in the morning. Last week we went to the dose the doctor suggested and it's knocked him on his ass. It's really odd to see him so lethargic. I'm used to the noise out of him, and it's vanished. He's also not screaming, or doing the dangerous behaviors.

I have to accept this trade off, for now. It's difficult and sad to witness. I understand the drug takes time to take full effect. Oddly enough the drug's main side effect is weight gain, which is in the irony of life is desirable.

He's in there, and for whatever reasons he is not happy. I do not know what his being on this drug will help with his feelings, his anxieties. It's making him safe from his own hands though, and that going away has been worth the risk. I did not ask to have to make this choice, but I have to help protect him.

Give me a head with hair

There's always something new when you have an autistic kid. A new word you did not think he knew comes out of his mouth. A task he has never performed that he does as if he knew how to do it all along. Then there are the quirks, the way he taps his spoon when he eats, the way his eye squints when he rubs your eyebrows.

A new thing just started recently. He's been pulling his hair out, and there's a word for it that I am not going to cut and paste here. There's a small bald spot, but much bigger than mine, on the crown of his head that is a cause for concern. Is it another OCD quirk, like how he has to touch the curtain rod when he walks downstairs? Or is the hair pulling something more serious? No one really knows what is causing this. I did a really messed up thing when I was around his age. Licked my bottom lip until it was dry and scabbed over so badly, impetigo set in. New baby in the house may have triggered it, who knows what was going though my crazy head back then? Makes me wonder what about this whole condition is genetic and what is not. It's another thing to add to a pile of other things that make life with him a challenge. Much of this could probably be helped if he were verbal.

Talked about it with his mother at swimming this morning and we thought getting his hair cut might help. It has been getting long, maybe that added to the trouble?

So I took him for a haircut at a place he's been to before. Oddly enough, this was the first time I had even taken him to get his hair cut. It's always been his mother who did this. Weird, I know. He does not like the sound the scissors make and is afraid of the electric clippers and the blow dryer. I told the stylist this before hand and she was really good with him. He behaved well too, until the scissors got close to his ear. No one was hurt. My son got a Dum-Dum lollipop and she got a good tip.

He's still tugging at his hair.

I am totally out of my depth here.