Monday, September 9, 2013

Can you simply snap?

I do not know any of the people involved in this tragedy, nor the autism father blogger I'm about to link to. It's a sad story that turned into an attempted murder/suicide. I'm not sure if something like this could or could not happen to me. One thing I do know is that without my wife I have no idea where I'd be today. One thing I do not know is exactly how my son's mother struggles with his condition.

Here's the link to the reaction of the story, which is in the blog post.

Living with an autistic child is hard, but so can living. Period. Most situations, including my own, can be so much worse.

My son has transitioned from stage two baby food to certain types of canned fruits, vegetables and boxed dinners that we put in a blender. This is huge progress.

Two weeks ago my son was in the toilet and smeared his feces all over himself, the bathroom and his bedroom floor.

Tonight he did the same thing. This is a child who freaks out over yogurt or peas on his hands but does not flinch when he's rubbing his shit into his hair.

As usual, he's not talking about it.

It's hard to laugh this off, when the future is so uncertain. What happens when puberty and hormones kick in? What happens if he becomes violent? What happens after his parents are gone? Right now we can't let him play in the backyard by himself because he might climb over the fence. Last night he was up at 3:30, shouting into the dark, just because, we think. Right now we have to prompt him to eat nearly every bite of food he takes because his mind wanders at the table and he does not have 45 minutes to an hour to eat every meal. We're taking about an additional 45 minutes each day just to get his food blended up and measured properly and I can't imagine how his mother is doing it by herself. I'm maintaining most days, and again without Emma I can only speculate something outside of a safe place.

It's exhausting, sleep deprivation is not healthy for anyone and I, too, will leave you with the words of a mother who lost it all.

There is so much more to say. I’m just too tired to write more.
All my love,

1 comment:

L. said...

I don't have words that you have not heard before. Just know that my thoughts are with you.