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Condition: Gravity

Born small
We could not hold him without his connection to
heart and blood saturation monitors
A life providing oxygen tank
outside of the plastic and metal box he called home

With a feeding tube going down his throat
he was not able to breast feed
(ask his Mother how that felt)

When he came home,
we thought it was colic
causing his restlessness and profound parental stress

There were few eureka moments
of first steps, the first pulling off of my eyeglasses
Crawling came naturally, slowly
Words with little frequency
Eating right, not at all
An occasional pretzel, sucked on, never chewed
He never chewed on anything
even when he teethed

We knew something was not right
much sooner than we found out
There was no crushing death sentence revealed
by his doctor
No denial
Yes, my son has autism

I'll admit the world turned upside down
in more ways than a hard diagnosis could make the world shake
There was an affair, divorce - personal dramas
my son handled better than the adults in the room
It took some time
but I did learn how
to gradually figure out
the art of
standing on my head
while making sure, he did not fall on his